Rimrod becomes Bee Bee

My old friend Rimrod has formally and legally changed his name to Bee Bee.

“It’s what everyone has called me since I was I kid,” he explained. “Besides, I am trying to project a younger, hipper image.”
Rim, I mean Bee Bee, has been going through a difficult period over the past few years.   He was in a long term relationship that seemed stable and secure.   But it started to fall apart about a decade ago, and he just never realized it until it was too late.   It was definitely a shock, and he is still recovering.

I must admit that there were times that I feared for his life.
It was devastating for him, but the blow was softened because his friends stood by him in spite of his stubborn refusal to admit his mistakes and change.  Canadians are like that; we like to think of ourselves as down to earth and are suspicious of anyone who seems flighty and runs off with something just because it is new and sexy.
So, now the anxious Bee-Bee, formerly known as Rim, is going to try to project himself as new and sexy.   But he is a lot older, and I don’t think he can ever recapture the love he once had.
“Good luck with that,” I said, not knowing what else to say. “I will try my best to help and will tell everyone I know that you are changing your ways.”
Secretly, I wondered whether the gang might just use this name change and “hipper, younger” image thing as an excuse to finally cut their ties with the increasingly awkward and embarrassing Rimrod.
“I know I can do it,” he said with watery eyes. “I really, really have changed, and like now I respond much better to touching and I’m into games and fun and what is really, really important is how I have changed inside.”
He sounded increasingly desperate as he spoke, reaching a crescendo when he described the intricate, multi-tiered contracts he intended to use to lock up any future relationships he entered into.
“I will be free and unrestricted at first,” he whispered. “Then I will hold on and clutch my companions for all I’m worth.”

As I said good-bye, I wished the best for my old friend, but resolved to limit my future interactions with him to emails and text messages.

February 2013

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