After our boss was appointed Castoria’s National Minister of Regional Economic Pretense, we all went off for three-months of language training at l’Institut de Clichés Culturels (I-CC).
The
pressure was on everyone in the office to get the CC-level in conversational stereotyping and cajoling
before the Minister launched stakeholder consultations on the island
province off our country’s eastern coast.
Though I finally passed my oral exams, I struggled and needed many refreshers.
For this reason, I kept the class notes for future reference.
Though I finally passed my oral exams, I struggled and needed many refreshers.
For this reason, I kept the class notes for future reference.
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Course
102-N: Oral Interactions
Paternalism and Stakeholder Consultation in the Newly Found Land
Paternalism and Stakeholder Consultation in the Newly Found Land
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Lesson 1 - Initial engagement
and assessment
Communication Objective:
Seeking to determine the level of technical expertise among participants.
Seeking to determine the level of technical expertise among participants.
Repeat
the following phrases
“Oh, oh, my dear, dear
lad. Now before you go spoutin’ off
about tings ya know nuttin’ of. Tell me
dis - Did you get your check last month
? Did your brudder get his too? Well, den whachya snappin’ on about ? Yah know ‘tis the Minsturr to whose credit
you owe it for – Dan’t chya ?”
Lesson 2 - Provide timely,
relevant information
Communications Objective:
Tabling background information to augment prior knowledge among stakeholders.
Tabling background information to augment prior knowledge among stakeholders.
Repeat
the following phrases
“ahhhh.. Da Minstur – he’s done a lotta
good for the Newly Found Land – dan’t chya know ? Tis da troot ... It makes me sick, some people – dat says
udderwise. Dis and dat. Does ya really tink dat dem udder guys could do better
.. so help me God, I wish we waz rid of dah hole lot of dem ... I duz.”
Lesson 3 – Provide Background Data and Information for Stakeholder Queries
Communication Objective:
Communicating readily available data in response to questions posed on-site.
Communicating readily available data in response to questions posed on-site.
Repeat
the following phrases
“What do ya tink, ya tink ya’re better’n what the Minstur is? Haven’t ya got no respeck? Don’t know ya place, ya weezel. No dam respeck for the Minstur what’s got de hole province in his mittens and a awful, awful, terrible, terrible burden on his pawhr shoulders – what that man have to put up with from the likes of you lot.”
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Equipped with advanced regional language training, we launched stakeholder consultations in province prior to by-elections that summer in order to support of our party's standard bearer in an urban riding around the university.
The
election night television coverage was memorable with it being the first time
many viewers had seen a government candidate coated in pine tar and puffin feathers.
