As a senior and a bureaucrat, I have recently assumed the authority to identify myself as a “Senior-Bureaucrat” on LinkedIn and other non-government, unofficial, controlled-by-me public notices of my existence.
This
has had the unintended consequence of attracting annoying inquiries from young
aspirants interested in a career in public service and looking to learn at the
elbows of a master in the profession.
After
entertaining a number of such requests, I have developed a standard reference piece to redirect bothersome appeals for career guidance. I am reproducing it here and will post it on the Internet to serve
as a resource for students. The document is drawn from the transcript of
my most recent interactions with a scholar from the Castorian University School
of Public Administration and Strategic Thinking.
“Rrrrringuh,
Rrringuh ....”
“Hello,
the office of Jonathon L. Swallow, acting interim manager of support and
secretariat services.”
“Yes,
Mr. Swallow, my name is Cyrus Stoodias – I’m a undergrad in public admin and
strat thoughts at C-U, and I was wondering if I might interview you about your
duties and your views on your profession in general.”
“
Well, ah, I think you have the wrong person. How did you get my
number ?”
“I
got your number from the government operator – I saw you on LinkedIn as having
some responsibility for your department’s support and secretariat services and
that’s the subject of my project.”
“Well,
I think you might be looking for someone in operations – my job is limited to
policy and planning and what you are talking about is not really in my
area. Please call the government operator again and ask for someone
in the program delivery section.”
“No,
honestly, Mr. Swallow. The policy and strategy stuff is what I am
studying, and I would really appreciate the chance to talk – I could maybe come
down and meet you in your office – sometime convenient.”
“I’m
sorry – I am very busy this week and will be on leave the week after – maybe
longer - and I think that they plan to increase the security
requirements for entry to our building particularly by officially unauthorized
members of the public - you might be best to talk to someone in one of the
other departments.”
“Well,
I have been assigned your department and all of the interesting ones have
already been taken by the other students – would it be OK if I sent you my
questions in writing.”
“Yes,
I suppose, but you must submit them via the department’s online form to the
Media Relations office for vetting.”
“But
I’m not a journalist, and I don’t expect to publish this paper – it’s just for
my term project on multifarious
administrative processes and innovative accountability avoidance.”
“Oh,
in that case, you should also file a freedom of access to information request with
the requisite $6.50 fee listing all of the information you need, time frames
concerned, and likely sources of the relevant documentation?”
“Thanks,
Mr. Swallow, this has been great, I think I have all that I need – forget the interview, bye."
