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| The Transgender Act |
Inspired by our
department’s new, long overdue policy on diversity and LGBT rights, I have been
overtaken by a sudden urge to announce something that I have never been able to
bring myself to air in public before.
While I can count on
the support of my extended family, I am still a little nervous as I am not
really sure how other people will react to my confession. I suspect many will
be startled, and some will laugh at me.
For many, many years, I have, in fact, tried to hide this aspect of my personal life and gone to great lengths to stifle my basic urges at work and in public. It is hard to explain, awkward and odd. It takes me across the boundaries that define what is feminine and what is masculine, and I don’t know how to stop.
When alone ... away from others ... and not feeling self-conscious or uptight ... I sneeze like a little girl.
Not a cute little
girl “achoo” kind of sneeze. But a high-pitched squeak. The sound you might
make stepping on an Ewok or squeezing a really small rubber duckie.
I am what is often called a transgender nasal noisemaker, and I am admit it - although I and others like me prefer the term “cross-sneezer.”
Yes. I considered the extreme step of rhinoplasty. But realized in reflecting upon the option of surgery that I did not want to change myself - just to sneeze as myself.
My always supportive
and understanding mother says for her that effeminate sound is offset by
my very macho habit of biting my tongue when I sneeze.
Still, until now, I had hoped to live my life keeping the feature of my life private. I even avoided coming out this flu season when I was stuffed up and runny for over ten weeks straight.
But now emboldened by the framework of the department's new Policy on Diversity, LGBT rights, and Plumbing, I am going to confess my girl sneezing to my colleagues at the next branch staff meeting. Maybe, I will announce it to my thousands of potential Twitter followers the day after.
I have never before little-girl sneezed in public nor have I any immediate plans to
girl-sneeze at my place of work. But just the thought of confessing has opened
the door to such possibilities.
I am embracing them and the freedom to be
myself. I feel ready to sneeze the day.
