Under the special Castorian Rodent and Imprisoned Mammal Exchange (CRIME) program, two Ice Hog mascots employed by the national capital winter carnival are being sent to China. The
arrangement follows the ten-year loan of two giant pandas to Castoria from China.
Today's announcement was
greeted with official excitement by excited officials in the excited partner
nations. The Ice Hogs, En See See, a thirty-something female, and Ka Pi tal, a
middle-aged male, will spend an indefinite period with the option of renewal touring remote regions of China.
The Honourable Bud Ekscuse, Castorian ambassador to China, was on
hand to deliver the cold, caged rodents to the staff of the People’s
Maltreatment and Organ Harvest (PMOH) Zoo Camp in a photo op ceremony on
the Beijing airport runway.
“They are smiling - this is how Ice Hogs smile - trust me,” said the ambassador
in an interview with the People’s Persecution Press. “Smiling is important - as we're hoping they will breed while being held in custody here in China - and away
from our boring, no-stimulation capital.”
To ensure a smooth transition to their new environment, the two Castorian
furbearing beings will receive strict rations of rancid
rice and brackish fluids to mirror their customary diet of slush and canal
“They will get food if they cooperate fully,” PMOH Zoo officials