tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67054610403449271072024-03-05T07:37:31.833-08:00Stubborn StuffDream. Think. Laugh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger221125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-3749454463486086432022-04-21T11:39:00.001-07:002022-04-21T11:45:54.883-07:00A Covid's Carol <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yriG487D2DAcCQklKfPcFDDFWjeNUJiYclj2tCn8saMuADiAaBzh0apG5oHUwQagRZAk1nzRhrGW-_SZJ2B2rBRJ9gnaxAcaRP5FJL2uhxyoewRyzZPXQR6_oxk7-BsgCbfW3kQ91Nrb/s1600/Bookless.jpg" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" height="170" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yriG487D2DAcCQklKfPcFDDFWjeNUJiYclj2tCn8saMuADiAaBzh0apG5oHUwQagRZAk1nzRhrGW-_SZJ2B2rBRJ9gnaxAcaRP5FJL2uhxyoewRyzZPXQR6_oxk7-BsgCbfW3kQ91Nrb/s200/Bookless.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">E. Kindle</span></strong></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="color: black;">The Capital City's library was dead.<br /><br />There was no doubt whatever about that. The plan for its burial had been signed by the administrator of books, the treasurer, and finally, Ebookaneezer Kindle - the Town Clerk - and his name was good upon anything to which he chose to put his hand.<br /><br />Throughout Castoria, access to libraries had been blocked or at least awkward and erratic during the endless pandemic, and all were turning from books that required a human touch to reading things electronic. Now, here in the nation's capital the last library branch was closing and the town book program was to be terminated – both would be dead as a door-nail. Of this, Kindle was certain.<br /><br />It was the closing hour, and he was suffering the blowing airs of December on his way to his limousine when two portly gentlemen intercepted him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With heads bowed and papers in their hands, they spoke to the Clerk.<br /><br />"Mr. Chapters, I believe," said one of the gentlemen, referring to his list of names. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Chapters ?"<br /><br />"Chapters has been well and gone these many years," Kindle the Clerk replied. "He left with a whimper and now sells house wares, greeting cards, and confections online."<br /><br />"Ah, but we have no doubt his liberality, love of books, and interest in reading are well represented by your office," said the younger gentleman, presenting his credentials.<br /><br />At the menacing word "Liberality !!!" <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kindle frowned, shook his head, and pushed the credentials back.<br /><br />"In this cruel season of the year, my Clerk, it is more than usually desirable that our town should make some slight provision for the laid-off librarians and government book-handlers, who suffer greatly,” said the gentleman, taking up a pen. "Many are in want of common necessaries; hundreds are in want of gainful employ."<br /><br />"Are there no oil fields in western lands?" asked Kindle.<br /><br />"Plenty of oil fields in the bitter regions of northwest Castoria, and many have resumed operations despite the changing climate and falling prices," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.<br /><br />"And the union-free delivery services and warehousing centres?" demanded the Town Clerk. "Are they still in open to low-quality business and employ?"<br /><br /><strong><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">"</span></strong>They are - Still," said the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not."<br /><br />"The fish and chip shops and the burger mills are in full vigour, then?" said the Clerk.<br /><br />"Both very busy, sir."<br /><br />"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course," Kindle said. "I'm very glad to hear it is not the case."<br /><br />"Under the impression that part-time and seasonal employ brings scarce Christian cheer to mind or body," returned the gentleman. "A few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to provide the laid-off government book workers some means for re-training and transitioning to other circumstance. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when cold and want are keenly felt and fiscal year-end budgets are being tallied. What shall I put your office down for?"<br /><br /><strong><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">"</span></strong>Nothing!" Kindle the Clerk replied.<br /><br />"You wish to make it in the name of the Town ?"<br /><br />"I wish to be left alone - since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer," said the Clerk. "I begrudge the leave my own staff take and I won't support former librarians in their idleness. The town, through its works and purchases, helps to support the establishments I have mentioned -- and those who are badly off due to the virus and electronic publishing must go there."<br /><b><br /></b>"Many can't go there, and it is not their field of business,” said the older of the two gentlemen.<br /><br />"Well, their book business is not the book business of the future," the Clerk returned. "And it's enough for a man to understand real business, and not to be concerned with dying ones - this new trend occupies me constantly.”<br /><b><br /></b>“But for those who are aged and have devoted decades to their former book-handling trade, it would be near impossible to adjust to the work you have proposed, sir,” said the other man. “And many would rather die."<br /><br />"If they would rather die," said Kindle the Clerk. "They had better do it, and make rapid and permanent the decrease in the publicly funded workforce - good afternoon, gentlemen!"<br /><b><br /></b>Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the gentlemen withdrew.<br /><br />The tower bell rang, and Kindle the Clerk continued down the snow-covered steps to his limo, now in an even more facetious temper than usual.<br /><br /></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"">Yet the dull, moaning conversation, the recitation of the tedious reasoning for library closures, and the lateness of the hour pushed Kindle toward much need of repose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he arrived at the manor house that eve, he went straight to bed without undressing, slid on the button to his e-book, and stared at the flickering light all the while cursing the feeble, fractured Tiny Tunes audio feature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fell asleep in frustration - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>his thumb pressed upon the “shuffle” button.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Kindle drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the night - each time awaking to the dark haze around his bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His e-book glowed like the moon through a bedroom window and was speaking in a faltering electronic voice that seemed inhuman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It worked over the words in a ruthless, methodical fashion that disturbed the very marrow in his bones and softened his mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">On the first occasion, the glowing book had been speaking to Kindle all the hours preceding by drawing from the previously un-accessed, but free-with-the-purchase “classics collection” –<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Huckleberry Finn, Gulliver’s Travels, Robinson Crusoe, Sunshine Sketches,</i> and other books of the like.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kindle clasped his device and stared at the spectre-like screen.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I was bred with these books !” he whispered. “I was a boy when the school librarian introduced me to them!”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He recalled how the kindly, old book-handling woman had recognized his loneliness and showed him the power of stories that illuminate and embolden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With this recollection, he was, in an instant, connected with a thousand thoughts, hopes, and joys long, long, forgotten!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His lip trembled; a droplet ran down his cheek; and he smiled. Depleted by the thoughts, Kindle drifted back to sleep, his finger gently touching the screen once again.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When his cellphone rang notice of impending battery failure, Kindle awoke for a second time that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, he emerged from the unconscious to the reverberation of present-day readings – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The </i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Da Vinci Code, Tipping Point, South Beach Diet, Freakonomics</i><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"">, and books aimed at enhanced financial affairs and personal happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Having purchased and read these works on varied occasions under varied impulses and with no reference other than fleeting gratification, Kindle had never before recognized a commonality to these books.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"">Now, with the faltering, tiny Tunes voice chanting them as an ensemble, he at once realized the blending of desire and falsehoods in works that amuse and distract, but do little to advance the common welfare and proclaim ennobling truths.</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">“Spirit of the touch screen,” said Kindle, shaking the e-reader in his hands. “I wonder how you, of all the things in the world about us, should desire to mock a man’s inclinations to innocent reading enjoyment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 3pt 0cm;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The bowels of the instrument rattled, clanged, and emitted foul odours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its grating voice resumed with full vigor drawing on weblinks, Internet news, and Youtube videos.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How is this possible ?” said Kindle. “I must have downloaded some bad bits, crumbs, and rotted biscuits with the disabled Tunes player.”<br /><br />The sound echoed through the bedroom and increased the disarray in Kindle’s mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“Fifty Shades, Miley Cyrus, my cat peeing in toilet, allegations against the leader, Gaga, Bieber’s haircut,” said the shimmering spectre of metal and light. “Amazon.com, Ebay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">Kindle pleaded with it to stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“No, you Device of the Devil ! Oh no, no! please cease.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">But the harder he squeezed the touch screen the louder and more rapid its spewings became.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeking reason in the fracas, Kindle thought of his first two encounters that night – those being with books of the present and the past.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“Are you the book of the future, the reading yet to come – is this what is being foretold ?” said Kindle to the thin slab of silver in his hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">The spectre resumed the dirge and floated out more words upon the bleak, dark night.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“The Kardashian Christmas Card, mixed martial arts, Kim Jung Un, porn star, basketball, Friend Me,” sputtered the device. “Shop online, Click here to Buy Now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“Spirit!” Kindle cried, tight clutching his e-reader. “'Hear me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cease now!”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">Kindle had no impact on the device, but he became sensible to the confused sounds of lamentation.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">Although Kindle was still unsure as to why and whither his e-reader had gone awry, he came to comprehend what it was saying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It started as a hissing whisper at the back of his head growing in a wrenching, hideous crescendo “ignorance and want ... Ignorance and Want … IGNORANCE AND WANT !!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“The future books of this device beseech Ignorance and Want,” he screamed. “They confuse with falsehoods and implore our spending on wants we did not know we had,” Kindle concluded with a gasp. “Would that someone steps forth to guide mankind through this mire and warn us of the doom written in these multitudinous words – the world, the world needs more … more … librarians !!”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">Librarians, he now saw, were not mere handlers of bound paper and cards, but guides who organize information and knowledge and make it accessible to the masses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their skills have value that can be transformed and can transform our sorry world !!!<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">And with this, he collapsed, fell back onto the bed, and into his thrice interrupted slumber.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">The next morning, Kindle was so fluttered and so glowing with thoughts and intentions that he leapt from his bed still wearing his clothing from the day before and headed for the Town Hall.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“I’m as giddy as a drunken man,” he said aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">Arriving at the local government offices, he spotted a boy in the Finance Department, the little weasel-faced one who arrives early and leaves late each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“Boy, do you know the decree that we signed on Friday last to close the municipal library?” said Kindle. “The big one that was to be unveiled by the mayor and local MP this week.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“I should hope I do,” said weasel-face. “I drafted the briefing notes myself and I have it sitting on my desk for processing this morn.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“What a delightful boy,” said Kindle laughing. “What an intelligent young man - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go, go - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tear it up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“Whhhhaaattt, are you mad ?” said the boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">“I am in earnest, go and tear it up, and bring the scraps to me that I may give you direction on the matter,” said Kindle.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">The boy packaged the torn pieces in an envelope and delivered them to the Town Clerk within the hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Clerk’s office, weasel saw Kindle smiling and typing out a new proposal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;">“Lad, I want you to run this document to the mayor for his signature today,” said Kindle. “Tell him that I have had an epiphany and come to realize the value of our city librarians, the great good they can deliver in the age of burdensome information and nonsense, and I have withdrawn our decree to close the library – Tell him ... <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a new strategic operating review plan ...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br /><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;"><br /></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;">It will recognize the value of libraries and librarians.</span><br /><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;"><br /></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;">It will bring great benefit to our town.</span><br /><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;"><br />It will make money.</span><br /><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;"><br /></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">WE WILL SELL THE LIBRARY !!</span>! – Perhaps - Perhaps ... hee -- hee - to avaricious local men of business === or, or to an establishment in Asia with inexpensive labour and few paid holidays.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">With this Kindle, the Town Clerk became, in a manner, merry as his own heart laughed with knowledge that he had come upon a means of finding value in a government library.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: medium; line-height: 29.3333px;">With comfort in his own Tablet and Fire which were quite enough for him, he felt that he knew how to keep amused - as well as any man alive - because he had been so blessed with wit and with searchable words electronic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div align="left" style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="color: black; line-height: 29.3333px;"><o:p><span> </span></o:p></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"" style="line-height: 29.3333px;">The End<span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-85962097066016250342022-02-01T05:43:00.000-08:002022-02-23T06:05:50.447-08:00A Closure Carol<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yriG487D2DAcCQklKfPcFDDFWjeNUJiYclj2tCn8saMuADiAaBzh0apG5oHUwQagRZAk1nzRhrGW-_SZJ2B2rBRJ9gnaxAcaRP5FJL2uhxyoewRyzZPXQR6_oxk7-BsgCbfW3kQ91Nrb/s1600/Bookless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="170" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yriG487D2DAcCQklKfPcFDDFWjeNUJiYclj2tCn8saMuADiAaBzh0apG5oHUwQagRZAk1nzRhrGW-_SZJ2B2rBRJ9gnaxAcaRP5FJL2uhxyoewRyzZPXQR6_oxk7-BsgCbfW3kQ91Nrb/s200/Bookless.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>E. Kindle</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">
The Capital City's library was dead. <br />
<br />
There was no doubt whatever about that. The plan for its burial had been signed
by the administrator of books, the treasurer, and finally, Ebookaneezer Kindle
- the Town Clerk - and his name was good upon anything to which he chose to put
his hand. <br />
<br />Throughout Castoria, all books and reading were becoming electronic, and here in the nation's capital the last library branch was closing and the town book program was to be terminated – both would be dead as a door-nail. Of
this, Kindle was certain.<br />
<br />
It was the closing hour, and he was suffering the blowing airs of December on
his way to his limousine when two portly gentlemen intercepted him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With
heads bowed and papers in their hands, they spoke to the Clerk.<br />
<br />
"Mr. Chaptors, I believe," said one of the gentlemen, referring to
his list of names. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Chaptors ?"<br />
<br />
"Chapters has been well and gone these many years," Kindle the Clerk
replied. "He left with a whimper and now sells house wares, greeting
cards, and confections on the street."<br />
<br />
"Ah, but we have no doubt his liberality, love of books, and interest in
reading are well represented by your office," said the younger gentleman,
presenting his credentials.<br />
<br />
At the menacing word "Liberality !!!" <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kindle frowned, shook his head, and pushed the
credentials back.<br />
<br />
"In this cruel season of the year, my Clerk, it is more than usually
desirable that our town should make some slight provision for the laid-off
librarians and government book-handlers, who suffer greatly,” said the gentleman, taking
up a pen. " Many are in want of common necessaries; hundreds are in want
of gainful employ."<br />
<br />
"Are there no oil fields in western lands?" asked Kindle.<br />
<br />
"Plenty of oil fields in the bitter regions of northwest Castoria, and many have resumed operations despite the changing climate and falling prices," said the
gentleman, laying down the pen again.<br />
<br />
"And the union-free big box stores?" demanded the Town Clerk.
"Are they still in open to low-quality business?"<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">"</span></strong>They
are - Still," said the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were
not."<br />
<br />
"The fish and chip shops and the burger mills are in full vigour,
then?" said the Clerk.<br />
<br />
"Both very busy, sir."<br />
<br />
"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had
occurred to stop them in their useful course," Kindle said. "I'm very
glad to hear it is not the case."<br />
<br />
"Under the impression that part-time and seasonal employ brings scarce Christian
cheer to mind or body," returned the gentleman. "A few of us are
endeavouring to raise a fund to provide the laid-off government book workers some means
for re-training and transitioning to other circumstance. We choose this time,
because it is a time, of all others, when cold and want are keenly felt and fiscal
year-end budgets are being tallied. What shall I put your office down
for?"<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">"</span></strong>Nothing!"
Kindle the Clerk replied.<br />
<br />
"You wish to make it in the name of the Town ?"<br />
<br />
"I wish to be left alone - since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that
is my answer," said the Clerk. "I begrudge the leave my own staff take
and I won't support former librarians in their idleness. The town, through its works
and purchases, helps to support the establishments I have mentioned -- and
those who are badly off due to electronic publishing and are in need of
employment must go there."<br />
<b><br />
</b>"Many can't go there, and it is not their field of business,” said the
older of the two gentlemen. <br />
<br />
"Well, their book business is not the book business of the future,"
the Clerk returned. "And it's enough for a man to understand real
business, and not to be concerned with dying ones - this new trend occupies me
constantly.”<br />
<b><br />
</b>“But for those who are aged and have devoted decades to their former
book-handling trade, it would be near impossible to adjust to the work you have
proposed, sir,” said the other man. “And many would rather die."<br />
<br />
"If they would rather die," said Kindle the Clerk. "They had
better do it, and make rapid and permanent the decrease in the publicly funded
workforce - good afternoon, gentlemen!"<br />
<b><br />
</b>Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the
gentlemen withdrew.<br />
<br />
The tower bell rang, and Kindle the Clerk continued down the snow-covered steps
to his limo, now in an even more facetious temper than usual. <br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Yet the dull,
moaning conversation, the recitation of the tedious reasoning for library
closures, and the lateness of the hour pushed Kindle toward much need of repose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he arrived at the manor house that eve, he
went straight to bed without undressing, slid on the button to his e-book, and
stared at the flickering light all the while cursing the feeble, fractured Tiny
Tunes audio feature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fell asleep in
frustration - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>his thumb pressed upon the
“shuffle” button.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Kindle
drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the night - each time awaking to
the dark haze around his bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His e-book
glowed like the moon through a bedroom window and was speaking in a faltering
electronic voice that seemed inhuman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
worked over the words in a ruthless, methodical fashion that disturbed the very
marrow in his bones and softened his mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">On
the first occasion, the glowing book had been speaking to Kindle all the hours preceding
by drawing from the previously un-accessed, but free-with-the-purchase “classics
collection” –<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Huckleberry Finn, Gulliver’s Travels, Robinson Crusoe, Sunshine Sketches,</i> and other
books of the like.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Kindle clasped his device and stared at the spectre-like screen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I
was bred with these books !” he whispered. “I was a boy when the school
librarian introduced me to them!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
recalled how the kindly, old book-handling woman had recognized his loneliness
and showed him the power of stories that illuminate and embolden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With this recollection, he was, in an instant,
connected with a thousand thoughts, hopes, and joys long, long, forgotten!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His lip trembled; a droplet ran down his
cheek; and he smiled. Depleted by the thoughts, Kindle drifted back to sleep,
his finger gently touching the screen once again.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When
his cellphone rang notice of impending battery failure, Kindle awoke for a
second time that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, he emerged
from the unconscious to the reverberation of present-day readings – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The </i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Da Vinci Code,
Tipping Point, South Beach Diet, Freakonomics</span></i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">, and books aimed at enhanced financial affairs and
personal happiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Having
purchased and read these works on varied occasions under varied impulses and
with no reference other than fleeting gratification, Kindle had never before
recognized a commonality to these books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Now,
with the faltering, tiny Tunes voice chanting them as an ensemble, he at once
realized the blending of desire and falsehoods in works that amuse and distract,
but do little to advance the common welfare and proclaim ennobling truths.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Spirit
of the touch screen,” said Kindle, shaking the e-reader in his hands. “I wonder
how you, of all the things in the world about us, should desire to mock a man’s
inclinations to innocent reading enjoyment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 3pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">The
bowels of the instrument rattled, clanged, and emitted foul odours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its grating voice resumed with full vigor drawing
on weblinks, Internet news, and Youtube videos.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How is this possible ?” said Kindle. “I must
have downloaded some bad bits, crumbs, and rotted biscuits with the disabled Tunes
player.”<br />
<br />
The sound echoed through the bedroom and increased the disarray in Kindle’s mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Fifty Shades,
Miley Cyrus, my cat peeing in toilet, allegations against the leader, Gaga, Bieber’s
haircut,” said the shimmering spectre of metal and light. “Amazon.com, Ebay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Kindle pleaded
with it to stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“No, you
Device of the Devil ! Oh no, no! please cease.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">But the harder
he squeezed the touch screen the louder and more rapid its spewings
became.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeking reason in the fracas, Kindle
thought of his first two encounters that night – those being with books of the present
and the past.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Are you the
book of the future, the reading yet to come – is this what is being foretold ?”
said Kindle to the thin slab of silver in his hands. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">The spectre
resumed the dirge and floated out more words upon the bleak, dark night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“The
Kardashian Christmas Card, mixed martial arts, Kim Jung Un, porn star, basketball, Friend Me,” sputtered the device. “Shop online, Click here to Buy
Now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Spirit!” Kindle
cried, tight clutching his e-reader. “'Hear me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Cease now!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Kindle had no
impact on the device, but he became sensible to the confused sounds of
lamentation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Although
Kindle was still unsure as to why and whither his e-reader had gone awry, he
came to comprehend what it was saying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It started as a hissing whisper at the back of
his head growing in a wrenching, hideous crescendo “ignorance and want ...
Ignorance and Want … IGNORANCE AND WANT !!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“The future
books of this device beseech Ignorance and Want,” he screamed. “They confuse
with falsehoods and implore our spending on wants we did not know we had,”
Kindle concluded with a gasp. “Would that someone steps forth to guide mankind
through this mire and warn us of the doom written in these multitudinous words
– the world, the world needs more … more … librarians !!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Librarians, he
now saw, were not mere handlers of bound paper and cards, but guides who
organize information and knowledge and make it accessible to the masses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their skills have value that can be
transformed and can transform our sorry world !!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">And with this,
he collapsed, fell back onto the bed, and into his thrice interrupted slumber.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">The next
morning, Kindle was so fluttered and so glowing with thoughts and intentions
that he leapt from his bed still wearing his clothing from the day before and headed
for the Town Hall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“I’m as giddy
as a drunken man,” he said aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Arriving at
the local government offices, he spotted a boy in the Finance Department, the little weasel-faced
one who arrives early and leaves late each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Boy, do you
know the decree that we signed on Friday last to close the municipal library?”
said Kindle. “The big one that was to be unveiled by the mayor and local MP this week.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“I should hope
I do,” said weasel-face. “I drafted the briefing notes myself and I have it
sitting on my desk for processing this morn.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“What a
delightful boy,” said Kindle laughing. “What an intelligent young man - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go, go - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tear it up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Whhhhaaattt,
are you mad ?” said the boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“I am in
earnest, go and tear it up, and bring the scraps to me that I may give you
direction on the matter,” said Kindle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">The boy
packaged the torn pieces in an envelope and delivered them to the Town Clerk
within the hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Clerk’s office, weasel
saw Kindle smiling and typing out a new proposal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">“Lad, I want
you to run this document to the mayor for his signature today,” said Kindle.
“Tell him that I have had an epiphany and come to realize the value of our city
librarians, the great good they can deliver in the age of burdensome
information and nonsense, and I have withdrawn our decree to close the library
– Tell him ... <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a new strategic
operating review plan ...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">It will recognize the value of libraries and librarians.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">It will bring great benefit to our town.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><br />It will make money.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">WE WILL SELL THE LIBRARY !!</span>! – Perhaps - Perhaps ... hee -- hee - to avaricious local men of business === or, or to an
establishment in Asia with inexpensive labour and few paid holidays.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">With
this Kindle, the Town Clerk became, in a manner, merry as his own heart laughed
with knowledge that he had come upon a means of finding value in a government library.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">With
comfort in his own Tablet and Fire which were quite enough for him, he felt
that he knew how to keep amused - as well as any man alive - because he had been
so blessed with wit and with searchable words electronic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="left" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">The End<span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-68454277589182271832018-10-23T06:30:00.002-07:002018-10-23T07:06:00.787-07:00England - 2018 <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiegLgDnT2sHketu-Pl4F2Han6z2qFiY_IfgZv6rxmUpiHuOTSbALvAK9dJjccMm22jgZk7bfofP-jHJUCltRi8gQKV0dAK39TrQgTbik4MhToTj0UBaxWR0L9KA7_xuV-uYzp6_Y14P_f8/s1600/IMG_4268.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiegLgDnT2sHketu-Pl4F2Han6z2qFiY_IfgZv6rxmUpiHuOTSbALvAK9dJjccMm22jgZk7bfofP-jHJUCltRi8gQKV0dAK39TrQgTbik4MhToTj0UBaxWR0L9KA7_xuV-uYzp6_Y14P_f8/s200/IMG_4268.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>1) Eden and Eating Big
Steamy Blobs</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">“I dunno, looks like a
big steamy dinosaur turd to me ?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/eden-and-eating-big-steamy-blobs.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read more … </span></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>2) Grooming in Bath </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">“Well, we use razors,
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>3) Shaw’s Corner Counsel </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">As the years pass, it
gets harder and harder to identify age-appropriate role models.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="color: blue;"> </span></span><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/shaws-corner-counsel.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read more … </span></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>4) Jane Austen meets
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">“You know it’s been at
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>5) The Celery Root Route </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">Wherever I go in the
future, I’m going to carry around a leafy celery root.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/the-celery-root-route.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read more …</span></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>6) Chocolate Box Head</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">“It’s embarrassing,” I said.
“And I feel I have to explain myself.” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/chocolate-box-head.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read more …</span></b><o:p></o:p></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>7) Doing your Best at the Lit
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">When travelling, we try
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>8) Beyond Brunel</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">Three things about
England intimidate me: roundabouts off the M-4 motorway, pub food that sounds
like a personal injury or disease, and Isambard Kingdom Brunel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/beyond-brunel.html"><span style="color: blue;">Read more …</span></a></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>9) Lazy in Lacock</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">I don’t mind admitting
that I am getting older. But just not out loud. And not to other
people. Even my wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinymELbpISl7NAMyPByIVyftJwErGynOB_2Ih2CYjAw2yWniB8B7u2drDFxfJybBYRn89SYfDFVBWPt4BpF2w3q3-Lx-VG3LvrRPiPseg2Sq4STbQZDq4kiBQKKKlEyN6PSRKlz7jROJ3S/s1600/IMG_4155.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinymELbpISl7NAMyPByIVyftJwErGynOB_2Ih2CYjAw2yWniB8B7u2drDFxfJybBYRn89SYfDFVBWPt4BpF2w3q3-Lx-VG3LvrRPiPseg2Sq4STbQZDq4kiBQKKKlEyN6PSRKlz7jROJ3S/s200/IMG_4155.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><b>10) Going by
the Dogs </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">You can
get to the periodic island of St. Michael’s Mount in several ways.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; orphans: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><b> </b></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/going-by-dogs.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read more … </span></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-32052357905379308612018-10-23T06:02:00.005-07:002018-10-26T02:16:39.611-07:00Eden and Eating Big Steamy Blobs <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjpcfeBEFAdzExDNzjjyM6EK-etyjgyC1DHAEhlvOigtC3nN121xWUQB9tgZoglKshNyrk5VgPUWMd8TXoPGe7fZW3UpJdpbZPIWC46OJvxIozZFkW0HlP4GuUV8IENEeqHyqq8aM6LlFB/s1600/IMG_4268.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjpcfeBEFAdzExDNzjjyM6EK-etyjgyC1DHAEhlvOigtC3nN121xWUQB9tgZoglKshNyrk5VgPUWMd8TXoPGe7fZW3UpJdpbZPIWC46OJvxIozZFkW0HlP4GuUV8IENEeqHyqq8aM6LlFB/s320/IMG_4268.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“I dunno, looks like a
big steamy dinosaur turd to me?”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The object under discussion sits at the heart of the <a href="https://www.edenproject.com/"><b><span style="color: blue;">Eden Project</span></b></a>, the massive eco-tourist
attraction and education centre just north of St. Austell in Cornwall. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Eden’s giant biodome enclosures house
thousands of plant species and recreate the climate conditions of the tropical rain forests,
the Mediterranean, and other regions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Outside the domes, botanical gardens overflow with English flora.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The clear intent is to
provide visitors with a unique experience, a greater appreciation of ecology, and
an understanding of human interactions with the natural world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp9e6pH78Gxi18rt1YVQxU4Urbl-zPMZvoLknrng-vgNxH4JcehZrt0e4c0pk13aehXwn2cj4C8gn-vgrWQukD-tLtdqHppgc2mc5ALmJGCGmAWD3z5qY331XjrZ4aH4lM3HPxMBCKHUhz/s1600/IMG_4273.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp9e6pH78Gxi18rt1YVQxU4Urbl-zPMZvoLknrng-vgNxH4JcehZrt0e4c0pk13aehXwn2cj4C8gn-vgrWQukD-tLtdqHppgc2mc5ALmJGCGmAWD3z5qY331XjrZ4aH4lM3HPxMBCKHUhz/s320/IMG_4273.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But when I think of our
fall 2018 day on the site, the first images popping into my mind
are those of the art installations like the dinosaur dropping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Perhaps because you
expect to see the plants, trees, and the iconic domes, you are
struck by those other, unanticipated structures: the many odd, but intriguing sculptures
line the pathways and exterior gardens. You pass an umbrella of tree roots, a labyrinth encased in willow
branches, a giant bee, horses made out of driftwood, and a hanging stone
xylophone. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrbIn0QWJ0b-rYkCt7-DtxhAUc-NSfs16LAWSsFG8Pp74d5ZI0OuFQpWZjyovr7BI5EVKMyMokLlVzjsceG8Qd_7nibfTq7EiS4U5ZFkIJOT1I4VURLCZRmRg2M5xM-0xxGeTrch27UWdP/s1600/IMG_4287.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrbIn0QWJ0b-rYkCt7-DtxhAUc-NSfs16LAWSsFG8Pp74d5ZI0OuFQpWZjyovr7BI5EVKMyMokLlVzjsceG8Qd_7nibfTq7EiS4U5ZFkIJOT1I4VURLCZRmRg2M5xM-0xxGeTrch27UWdP/s320/IMG_4287.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">But the most striking works had to
be those inside the buildings.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">One labeled
“Seed” looks like a giant bumpy egg. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">It
weighs seventy tonnes and was carved from a single piece of granite to mimic the
growth pattern found on sunflowers, pine cones, and ammonite fossils. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Unless you are a perceptive biologist or had
prior information, you might not get this connection at first glance.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">But this may be the
point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Big arresting
works of art like this cause mental mortals like me to ask “What the Flora ?”
and this can, in turn, lead to actual learning. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the case of the bumpy egg, I learned that
the pattern covering it is called the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fibonacci
Spiral</i>, has an important environmental purpose and is more common in nature
than you might think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibKkuY-uy66C71bHa29REhCKyT1ax-QwuSyluIFoR76AyA5fMghkhrdMW4-OXG4vBf5_Pbo_t96LZ8_Yuiyiqe6yb4ueaLdn5zi4eunClK0pEyDjwpjAJVfF5ySEcjgvHsJZlRiGqQee23/s1600/IMG_4305.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibKkuY-uy66C71bHa29REhCKyT1ax-QwuSyluIFoR76AyA5fMghkhrdMW4-OXG4vBf5_Pbo_t96LZ8_Yuiyiqe6yb4ueaLdn5zi4eunClK0pEyDjwpjAJVfF5ySEcjgvHsJZlRiGqQee23/s200/IMG_4305.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Another of Eden’s
sculptures that finds its way into many cellphone photo libraries is that of a
life-size raging bull surrounded by a troupe of writhing, semi-clad figures.
The bull represents Dionysus, the Greek god of the vines known to the Romans as
Bacchus. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He and his followers get
carried away with fruit fermented at the hands of humans. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, after the initial confusion and
curiosity, I learned that the installation tries to remind Eden visitors of the
need for balance in human interaction with nature and perhaps the benefits of appropriate
clothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1uxwORyJXSNdmKviy9inBYV6Ts_AKgujEoQgy2Z5-MpusHnr9tmiP1pmqmoyp3287HeUUT_qAkbZ86foQNBycw5M2H3O6zh94GzfkeVJu2FkKofGRHa4xbgsHjHvFrMwRMhzm4mvSPMoN/s1600/IMG_4291.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="424" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1uxwORyJXSNdmKviy9inBYV6Ts_AKgujEoQgy2Z5-MpusHnr9tmiP1pmqmoyp3287HeUUT_qAkbZ86foQNBycw5M2H3O6zh94GzfkeVJu2FkKofGRHa4xbgsHjHvFrMwRMhzm4mvSPMoN/s320/IMG_4291.jpg" width="212" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But as intriguing as
these works are, they all seem modest next to the one I likened to steamy
dung.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The giant crimpled, ceramic sculpture
is called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Infinity Blue</i>; it belches vapour
rings out in regular intervals and looks weird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Blue</i> attracted lots of touching
and attention on the day of our visit and has a kind of magnetic presence, he
still makes you wonder what the artist was thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Fortunately, signage
and printed materials answer the question, explaining that the big blue blob honours
something tiny, the organism called cyanobacteria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cynobacteria’s ancestors began burping out oxygen
billions of years ago to induce the evolutionary process that led to Michele
and me and the millions of others who have visited the Eden Project over the
years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Even though sculptures
like belching<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Blue </i>stick in my mind,
there is no question that the real attraction of the Eden project remains the varied
plant life and mix of environments inside the huge domes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was a lot to take
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHS5ib3-JFRF5wJaW151Ta_T_ssum_dQxfV98Hi79vlvJ7vJP2ljMm9-cEXvgp-3WPqkje-ThLrYPT2E1XJKX8qUlP74m5pSe9LKPjd7O7zVYTPfMzdGjCiIL46JUOJ1HApAwOdpeeyW-/s1600/IMG_4296.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHS5ib3-JFRF5wJaW151Ta_T_ssum_dQxfV98Hi79vlvJ7vJP2ljMm9-cEXvgp-3WPqkje-ThLrYPT2E1XJKX8qUlP74m5pSe9LKPjd7O7zVYTPfMzdGjCiIL46JUOJ1HApAwOdpeeyW-/s200/IMG_4296.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So, we rested at the
end of the day in the Eden Project cafeteria trying to absorb it all, sipping
more tea, and eating Cornish pasties. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Looking at the pastry half-circle
blob, smelling its steamy veggie contents, and touching its crimped-edge
handle, I thought again of the consequences of human interaction with nature, of
the merits of pausing to consider them good and bad, and of the message that is
the sum of the anticipated and unanticipated parts of the Eden Project.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-23366366408084574602018-10-22T17:08:00.003-07:002018-10-26T02:22:42.524-07:00Grooming in Bath <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">“Well, we use special razors, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYQ4TcyzSlA"><b><span style="color: blue;">burn your ears</span></b></a>, and do all the traditional cuts.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">“Come again?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">“I’m sorry?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">“It sounded like you said - burn your ears – what exactly does that mean?”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">“Oh, we take fire and put it on your ears – you know, to burn off the hairs.”<br /><br />“I ... ahhh ... don’t think I’d be up for that,” I said already sitting down and staring into a mirror with a white cape wrapped around my neck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">I realized that I would need to get a haircut during our extended stay in England this year. But I have very particular requirements. The haircut has to be cheap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB3V4lROLWTJviLDEt6FCnk3Fala2N-Adzr3kRMRo1DoSE7rXCttCAS1UCRbSz_umhO7FgmZlAMUBfpzldrlG1NJ1izfPMcs9UjieemlqtaCf_jkrzxQtyObe7c2Om7u28-7xWspTmyG2g/s1600/IMG_4008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1311" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB3V4lROLWTJviLDEt6FCnk3Fala2N-Adzr3kRMRo1DoSE7rXCttCAS1UCRbSz_umhO7FgmZlAMUBfpzldrlG1NJ1izfPMcs9UjieemlqtaCf_jkrzxQtyObe7c2Om7u28-7xWspTmyG2g/s200/IMG_4008.jpg" width="163" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">So I put it off for a couple of weeks finally invoking the need for a trim on the day Michele wanted to attend a Regency Dance Workshop in Bath. I left her at the dance hall promising to be back within the hour looking neater and cleaner from the shoulders up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">Cheapness proved to be a difficult condition to meet in Bath City Centre, an area lined with shops flogging jewelry, chic fashion, and other posh commodities amid unisex hair salons that posted prices far beyond what my grey hair warranted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">With time running out, I spread my search to other streets and came upon a place with an appearance and prices similar to those of my regular tonsorial service in Ottawa. But I didn’t think to ask what a “Turkish Barbershop” was until I sat down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">After our ears-on-fire exchange and my comment about not being into it, I relaxed and pursued conversation with the smiling man holding the scissors. He told me that he was not actually Turkish, but a Kurd from one of the many dodgy areas along the Turkey-Iraq border. He had married a Brit, loved life in Bath, and accepted the trials of the Kurdish people with a modest kind of sanguinity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">Discussing his family experience and his take on global politics made the time pass quickly, and I liked the way my hair was shaping up. Watching the mirror, I didn’t notice him dipping a cotton swab into alcohol and setting it aflame. Still, when he flicked it at my ear and patted away the debris, I might have been cool about it had the two guys on the bench not jumped back nervously. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">"Whoa !!" the one with a sideways Afro said. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">Before I could respond with words, the barber came at the other ear with flames and flicking fingers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">It was over in a moment and no big deal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">Walking back to the dance workshop, I felt a little naïve for not knowing what a Turkish Barbershop was all about and for not having asked if my ears were going to be burned before I sat down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">But by the time I met up with Michele, I was laughing about the experience, thinking about the barber’s stories with a smile, and already crafting the one I am telling you here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">I also thought my ears felt pretty smooth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-37379528195187903992018-10-21T10:16:00.005-07:002018-10-26T02:29:01.791-07:00Shaw’s Corner Counsel<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKToDpUbNA658EZPhhklD7viZeQntrr9pxF-c-yjoMZ2voXzqEVHg5wXFdsPoBXMv7RUr_GgxkNkmhQaYKI077BvRB8z0y6olyVAJxyROr7QRH4wh14aTyNwMLW4H2KtZYQXcRHE5SxUuB/s1600/IMG_4830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKToDpUbNA658EZPhhklD7viZeQntrr9pxF-c-yjoMZ2voXzqEVHg5wXFdsPoBXMv7RUr_GgxkNkmhQaYKI077BvRB8z0y6olyVAJxyROr7QRH4wh14aTyNwMLW4H2KtZYQXcRHE5SxUuB/s200/IMG_4830.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">As the years pass, it
gets harder and harder to identify age-appropriate role models. But one whom I
thought might serve me to the end was George Bernard Shaw.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I admire witty,
opinionated writers and playful personalities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For this reason, I would find Shaw admirable even if he had never penned
a popular play nor attracted accolades like the Academy Award and the Nobel
Prize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wrote lively and provoking
newspaper and magazine articles as well as mountains of thoughtful letters, and
he tried to influence society directly as a sometimes politician and social activist.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He also pruned fruit
trees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His death came after falling
from a partially pruned tree in his garden at <a href="https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/shaws-corner"><b><span style="color: blue;">Shaw’s Corner</span></b></a>, the English
country home where he kept active, both physically and intellectually, to the
age of 94. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Though not far from
London, the home, now a National Trust site and museum, is not particularly easy
to reach. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those without personal
transport, it can take a couple of hours with several bus and train transfers
culminating in a five mile walk down country lanes and across fields.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSruIQYzbEW7JJdwWxvUoJQBVegigAs76enMHPxbtM8IYefHyoJo4TxRiSflO4LDsbuQguVU8hv0fJ0ni4k7wlnLeyEFdDrSjrGmu8M7Qk2mt3wRW28Tplp1aBumZY0OnvaOyYOvT_R8b/s1600/IMG_4826.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSruIQYzbEW7JJdwWxvUoJQBVegigAs76enMHPxbtM8IYefHyoJo4TxRiSflO4LDsbuQguVU8hv0fJ0ni4k7wlnLeyEFdDrSjrGmu8M7Qk2mt3wRW28Tplp1aBumZY0OnvaOyYOvT_R8b/s320/IMG_4826.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But we love the latter
and were up for the former on the day before we left England, and I really
couldn’t think of a better way to cap off our time in Blighty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In plotting the day, I
read more about Shaw online and found myself skimming over the admirable parts which
were familiar to me and which had formed his image in my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead,
I paused on <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tidbits that many would see
as less than commendable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He wrote in a
soft, if not fawning way, about Hitler and Mussolini, he opposed vaccination
programs, and he cast favour on the so-called science of eugenics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I already knew that Shaw’s
views were controversial during his times and beyond, and I know that we fail
history when we force it under the lens of today’s knowledge and sensibilities.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the review of his works and views caused
me to struggle and search for rationalizations even before we arrived at Shaw’s
Corner and began talking to the volunteer guides. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">All of them were committed
enthusiasts, but they still added to the inventory of qualifications on the man.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One comment that caught Michele’s attention was about the writer’s contradictory relationship with women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An early and consistent supporter of women’s
rights and suffrage, he also had an awkwardness around women including his wife in a forty-year marriage that may not have been consummated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though the extent of any infidelities were in
doubt, he regularly wrote racy and sometimes passionate letters to other
members of the opposite sex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Your role model had
some flaws,” said Michele.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah, some of it is
kinda weird,” I said as we thanked the lady at the door for her interesting mix
of Shaw stories and headed up the stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXVR3uwQk19rEu4DrmfMtytJgHfygq3ExFeCfvjt4gY60Yi7oXJ-UWFC_ix9aWzjngMSmmyoYL9aeaGIXmsyAqNDatpUCnU-f3ut9c4g9g0KrFiOG6byLy73KyCMePPOZh3twITNJsmlMQ/s1600/IMG_4835.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="640" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXVR3uwQk19rEu4DrmfMtytJgHfygq3ExFeCfvjt4gY60Yi7oXJ-UWFC_ix9aWzjngMSmmyoYL9aeaGIXmsyAqNDatpUCnU-f3ut9c4g9g0KrFiOG6byLy73KyCMePPOZh3twITNJsmlMQ/s200/IMG_4835.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">On the second floor of
the house, a room brims with photos and artefacts including the Nobel Prize
certificates and his oddly scruffed up Oscar. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He used it as a
doorstop,” another volunteer guide said. “It got marked up a lot.”<br />
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This made me laugh and reminded me of a photo downstairs of Shaw sitting nude, imitating
his friend Rodin’s <i>Thinker</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both the scratched Oscar
and the naked Shaw photo attested to the writer’s sense of humour and ability to see himself and his achievements lightly. This attitude extended to his final years
when he wrote a Punch and Judy-style play presenting a sometimes violent
debate between his avatar and a puppet representing Shakespeare. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Outside walking along
the pathways and past the statue of St. Joan, I recalled that Shaw had his
ashes scattered in the dirt below my feet to mix them with those of his wife
who predeceased him by seven years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
saw their relationship, like the ground, as something more solid than those
earlier stories might have suggested and began to recoup my role model view of
the man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">All this came together
at the back of the property where a tiny wooden hut sits under the trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shaw’s hut cramped with its desk and cot was
a refuge where it is said he wrote most of his major works. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Nicknamed “London,” the little hut is also a physical
reminder of his quirkiness and sense of humour. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, I am sorry, Mr.
Shaw is in London,” unwanted visitors to the house would be told. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Again, I smiled and
resolved to retain G.B.S. in my positive thoughts. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I don’t necessarily embrace his quirky views
and lifestyle choices, but I admire his approach to it all.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Whether moderation on
Mussolini or thinking in the nude, he always had a playful way of expressing
his opinions and responding to life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A Shaw quote that I
read browsing the bookshop at the exit summed it up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked away from the Shaw’s Corner with these
words in my head and a better understanding of why Shaw provides someone my age
with a useful model.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“We don’t stop playing
because we grow old,” he once said. “We grow old because we stop playing.”</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-74954593249584634002018-10-20T11:14:00.001-07:002018-10-26T02:37:12.449-07:00Jane Austen meets Stephen Leacock on the way to Downton Abbey<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdP0nyD8f55OPBmiMObmHcEU_-MIjh5QWKwGYiy8Q7yDAGYB-syrh-vhrFsbfgsa7II0aciYj2kkX092qin3ColHY-mJdw1Tc5sQWUahfFUT1Tt6MNS12bB49dHog28xAU6TuBkIqW99s0/s1600/IMG_2313.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdP0nyD8f55OPBmiMObmHcEU_-MIjh5QWKwGYiy8Q7yDAGYB-syrh-vhrFsbfgsa7II0aciYj2kkX092qin3ColHY-mJdw1Tc5sQWUahfFUT1Tt6MNS12bB49dHog28xAU6TuBkIqW99s0/s320/IMG_2313.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">Talk
of Jane Austen and twists in English roads started to wear on me a bit after a
few weeks in Britain, but Michele really wanted to visit </span><a href="https://www.jane-austens-house-museum.org.uk/" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Jane’s home and museum in Chawton</b></span></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Michele loves Austen books
like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pride and Prejudice</i> that celebrate
competent, strong women who had a certain kind of equality with men despite the
constraints and customs of their times. I liked her plot twists and humour. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“You
know it’s been at the top of my wish list since we first started planning this
trip,” she said to make the point with pleading eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mustering
modest enthusiasm, I conceded that this would be a good use of one of our
rental car days, and together we plotted the 300 km route to Jane’s house and
back. In Googling the precise address, my eyes fell not on the streets and
intersections, but rather the name of the county – Hampshire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It’s one of those “Ceremonial
Counties” that enjoys distinction both in geography and history. There's a lot
to see in Hampshire. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for many years,
I’ve known it almost exclusively as the birthplace of humorist and academic
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Leacock"><b><span style="color: blue;">Stephen Leacock</span></b></a>: a bit of ground that I and many other Canadians might consider
hallowed on the level of Austen’s cottage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Until recently, I didn’t think
I’d ever get to visit this place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOjvBQHSViuNMR141auyoj6VhaT1EJjpwdzmRcL4P2V3xGDU_u0h5kCR91ankXXBT-XlF61TTzsAefSi8-kJGHd9fa8JkAj6jkXKE0oRUfxjb5DYmmRI6LOIJBLSTTqy73p5ogIIXarhw/s1600/IMG_3643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzOjvBQHSViuNMR141auyoj6VhaT1EJjpwdzmRcL4P2V3xGDU_u0h5kCR91ankXXBT-XlF61TTzsAefSi8-kJGHd9fa8JkAj6jkXKE0oRUfxjb5DYmmRI6LOIJBLSTTqy73p5ogIIXarhw/s320/IMG_3643.jpg" width="220" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">First of all, Leacock chose to be
born inconveniently in a country and a house situated across the Atlantic Ocean,
and second, I wasn’t even sure the house still existed. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In researching matters related to
Leacock a few years back, I came across some old clippings and references that
suggested the home may no longer stand or, at least, would be tough to
find.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A century or so ago, it may have
been even harder as Leacock himself seemed uncertain of its location.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In early autobiographical notes, Leacock said
he was born in “Swanmore, a suburb of Ryde in the Isle of Wight on 30<sup>th</sup>
December 1869,” believing that the Swanmore of his birth was the one near the Leacock family estate in Ryde.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as explained by former Leacock Museum Curator Ralph Curry, “A search of church
records … proved he was born … at (another town named) Swanmore (in the) county
of Hampshire,” a place where Leacock’s father made one of his failed attempts
at farming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This confusion had been cleared
up long before I took an interest in Leacock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The reason I had believed the place might not be findable rested on an
archived article written by Leacock scholar David Staines in April 1992 for the
newsletter <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mariposa Newspacket</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In it, Staines reported that the
Hampshire house was, at the time, sitting “empty, awaiting a buyer willing to
pay the asking price of one-half million pounds.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of money, particularly in 1992, and the
town residents believed the purchase could only be justified by “a local
developer … (who was) planning to … tear down the home and build a series of
modern townhouses.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Staines described the location of
the house as being just up the street from the parish church, and when out of
curiosity I checked it on Google Street View, sure enough a series of
modern townhouses sat on the spot. If I looked hard enough on the web at
the time, I might have found other evidence of the home’s fate. But not
planning a trip to this part of the world,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just assumed that there was nothing to see
and set the issue aside until this year, when the possibility of a two-month
stay in south west England materialized.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDn-PRIUBr5gJ37tXUGRjIjZZ3VE4izth2V76uQk8LsLeGi8-9sA68sLNo89YTUek7AqeebUqEAozIlaBJUjL0it_1wXEw6eMh1o5Ouhi6tWmUC3fp8F6tDqAzFZaSjiukyX528eDk53y7/s1600/IMG_3647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="466" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDn-PRIUBr5gJ37tXUGRjIjZZ3VE4izth2V76uQk8LsLeGi8-9sA68sLNo89YTUek7AqeebUqEAozIlaBJUjL0it_1wXEw6eMh1o5Ouhi6tWmUC3fp8F6tDqAzFZaSjiukyX528eDk53y7/s320/IMG_3647.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I sent an email to the general
information address of the local government summarizing the above background
and asking about the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not
receive a reply for weeks, but when it arrived, it came from Frank Pearson, the
</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">819th Mayor of the City of Winchester and a City Councillor representing</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Central Meon Valley, the Ward
that contains Swanmore in Hampshire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
our exchanges, he shared the following. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Yes, he was born in <span class="il">Swanmore - </span> in Leacock House, Church Road - <span class="il">Swanmore,” he said proudly emphasizing it with a second Swanmore in
the sentence. “</span>The house is to the west of St Barnabas Church and still
stands, it is a listed building and has a plaque on its wall recording that the
Leacock family lived there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Mayor Pearson wanted to
elaborate on Leacock’s Hampshire connections.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“Though t<span style="background: white;">he Leacock side of the family came from Madeira and
the Isle of Wight, the </span><br />
<span style="background: white;">The Butlers (his Mother’s family) were from
Hambledon in Hampshire and their family home is still standing,” he told me. “Stephen’s
mother’s father was for a time a curate at Soberton Church, also in Hampshire,
and there is a plaque on the wall of the church recording that.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">All this
Hampshire stuff is known to Leacock scholars and people like the staff at the
Leacock Museum in Orillia, I am sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But it was news to me, and the sum prompted me to think again about a
visit to Leacock’s birthplace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjSBw2dg7dSeHJupeAtIpXjz1QMFVipT_Sg-_unTG5BJevLZdI5nwJXBSjBx3WMPxkmyFQT8T-_3i9sai_7yOkS8XoB_LrgPmjaAeEnxcXQS-_syebpp0jAUF95eowRI6Wk4wOJ-YXmdWS/s1600/IMG_3645.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjSBw2dg7dSeHJupeAtIpXjz1QMFVipT_Sg-_unTG5BJevLZdI5nwJXBSjBx3WMPxkmyFQT8T-_3i9sai_7yOkS8XoB_LrgPmjaAeEnxcXQS-_syebpp0jAUF95eowRI6Wk4wOJ-YXmdWS/s320/IMG_3645.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I clicked
into Google Street View again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, I
couldn’t find the house. My clicking finger went up and down the street,
looking from all directions and all sides without any luck. I kept coming
across those townhouses that had dissuaded me from the venture before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">So, even
though I didn’t doubt the good mayor’s words, I shelved the idea of making a
trip to Hampshire’s Swanmore, thinking it would mean complicated public
transport connections and would might demand accommodations, perhaps for a
couple of nights, with no guarantee of success and, at best, the possibility of
glimpsing a roof over some hedges. I re-read Leacock’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Discovery of England </i>and thought of other places instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">But, on
this day, with a rental car and a drive to Hampshire in the works, I
reconsidered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“I know I
whined a bit about coming to Chawton,” I said holding the iPhone and standing
next to Jane’s writing table in the museum. “But with an hour detour, we could
try to see Leacock’s birthplace.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhy46tBUYIzm5d94RLLMfL_VhO5HbXGIaHBpE0LqmbUzGwUmm8V_J46aszh_1hEt2UX8WC8pozmfCoo-4iTKne8X6DHeVAxir8Hn4PGX-GAzNRRKZFPI8Lzu1EhgAczkJ4-46Ps-dYH0fZ/s1600/IMG_3624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="568" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhy46tBUYIzm5d94RLLMfL_VhO5HbXGIaHBpE0LqmbUzGwUmm8V_J46aszh_1hEt2UX8WC8pozmfCoo-4iTKne8X6DHeVAxir8Hn4PGX-GAzNRRKZFPI8Lzu1EhgAczkJ4-46Ps-dYH0fZ/s320/IMG_3624.jpg" width="284" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The charm
of the Austen house put Michele in a forgiving mood, and she volunteered to
co-pilot us over the winding roads in a loop that would cut the length of the
detour and, coincidentally, bring us back to Winchester and the cathedral that
is Jane Austen’s final resting place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">In
Swanmore, we parked by the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Michele sat in the car while I walked up the street.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Within a
few seconds, I found Leacock’s home and discovered the reason I couldn’t spot it
on Street View.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The front of the house
points at a right angle to the road and its entrance is a path under some trees
that block any view from the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Not
that it is hidden, the gate carries the words “Leacock House.” In checking
later, I realized that the gate was open and not visible the day that the
Google team drove by taking Street View photos.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">For me,
the detour and effort were worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
house is as English country cute as you would hope and seems like the kind of
place that could spawn a kindly, but quirky view of the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also has a large plaque installed by the
Government of Ontario.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This gave me a
feeling of Canadian pride and extra confidence in the home’s likely survival as
a treasured site. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Torn
between not wanting to impose on the owners and not wanting to presume the
right to take photos inside the gate, I rang the doorbell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With no answer, I turned and shuffled toward the
car. Looking back, I recognized the image of the house and trees as identical
to what I had seen before in researching the place. I decided that a duplicate
in my iPhone would not constitute a new intrusion and tapped the screen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirM9x6OACGdXRTeuTe4ryi0ThbOfrl8aYznQ4SCyTg_GUYE0Ob-FAsL_iFqZ362qkcifJvap4dvDSEHqU4A1t5M6H_79fyBp1O4Tw_UT0Rl05pdfnDemcJyT2_qDfBesYdRKBLBLpSrE2e/s1600/IMG_3652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirM9x6OACGdXRTeuTe4ryi0ThbOfrl8aYznQ4SCyTg_GUYE0Ob-FAsL_iFqZ362qkcifJvap4dvDSEHqU4A1t5M6H_79fyBp1O4Tw_UT0Rl05pdfnDemcJyT2_qDfBesYdRKBLBLpSrE2e/s320/IMG_3652.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“Maybe,
we’ve seen enough dead writer stuff for the day,” I said back on the road and
coming up to the A34 highway. With a sigh, Michele agreed to skipping
Winchester and Jane’s remains.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">This put me in a guilty
mood, and though tired of watching for cars coming around corners and lorries
coming up from behind, I had no will to fight when a half hour up the road Michele
spotted road signs and squealed, “Hey, it’s Highclere !!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">We had not expected to
pass Highclere Castle, the enormous country house now famous as the filming
location for the television series <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Downton
Abbey, </i>and although British tourism promotes it vigorously, it seemed like
a location best accessed by tour out of London.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitu2o0o84-wIRsa8HhAD5-eNDmWwcWy7ON1_-nAYdzJ8Tt9kMaZIdXgFHuv8mWoySeWOhGhxXw13VxnFtdmVkYLwimbDRKmmi_9v9YkCrDEHSPHQWfOSeuZpt6eUTdQleuwIBP3Yf4spH9/s1600/IMG_3656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="506" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitu2o0o84-wIRsa8HhAD5-eNDmWwcWy7ON1_-nAYdzJ8Tt9kMaZIdXgFHuv8mWoySeWOhGhxXw13VxnFtdmVkYLwimbDRKmmi_9v9YkCrDEHSPHQWfOSeuZpt6eUTdQleuwIBP3Yf4spH9/s320/IMG_3656.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I didn’t think I’d ever get to
visit this place,” said Michele with words that echoed my long held thoughts
about Leacock House.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We pulled off the
highway, followed the signs, parked in the field, and walked in the footsteps
of the Crawley family and their staff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Michele sipped tea, and I played
her valet, grateful for her indulgence on the Leacock diversion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Thanks for that,” Michele said.
“But we both got to see special places today by working as a travel team and
going down funny detours and twisting roads.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Yeah, very romantic and cute,” I
said. “Jane and Stephen would approve.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-55666230427987458322018-10-19T18:29:00.000-07:002018-10-23T12:50:29.297-07:00The Celery Root Route <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvmld_2csZUhyphenhyphenEaOK5yb7JPyLvumfP6h9OXrRZdlZ7G1qAzN1Rw9G7OEFP81lRR9GcguOGn126tCVsuZDnJ3y4WZ7VqHR5stqVOrNaDjaDAf2-RUrJ3hS9uvDfRqfHclPYwpjJ1EMcGXRN/s1600/IMG_4662.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvmld_2csZUhyphenhyphenEaOK5yb7JPyLvumfP6h9OXrRZdlZ7G1qAzN1Rw9G7OEFP81lRR9GcguOGn126tCVsuZDnJ3y4WZ7VqHR5stqVOrNaDjaDAf2-RUrJ3hS9uvDfRqfHclPYwpjJ1EMcGXRN/s200/IMG_4662.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Wherever I travel in
the future, I’m going to carry around a leafy celery root. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Also called celeriac, the
vegetable helps you find directions, locate the best restaurants, and learn
things about local history. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We used a celeriac to these ends this fall when
visiting <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malmesbury"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Malmesbury</b></span></a>, one of many market towns in Wiltshire and one that
actually had an active celery selling market on the day of our visit. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we didn’t start our day there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjENfczsO-6Jy2ah9HfXJ1bPE5GNnQQrdt64epFJ0KXeOpA_CXdMEll1PIOnjSPn3vVVQz5YdMWwlBRVODUH1GhNryMgdivuGyvYA25fO8Bs_K0kARgHggwtvIKh28Zg_GpHW0zNOuKBDKr/s1600/IMG_4542.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjENfczsO-6Jy2ah9HfXJ1bPE5GNnQQrdt64epFJ0KXeOpA_CXdMEll1PIOnjSPn3vVVQz5YdMWwlBRVODUH1GhNryMgdivuGyvYA25fO8Bs_K0kARgHggwtvIKh28Zg_GpHW0zNOuKBDKr/s200/IMG_4542.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As per our routine, we began
with a walk through the countryside. The Malmesbury tourism office encourages
this approach with a map that not only guides you to foot paths and bridges,
but also provides detailed histories of the sites along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Our walk started at the
Town Hall and led down to a pool of water known as Daniel’s Well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Daniel, we were told by our map, was the
Bishop of Winchester from 704 to 755. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of those austere monks who liked to test
themselves with painful experience, Daniel would stand in the streaming water
at this place all night long to cool his passions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEe5NGSZUpI6tr0B-hCipC6RfZxPtQxWgXU55XoyJhshs_FY-r6jFQCpjUsxgPTdUpnoPVq8-UUD8h1eYFPpgFHqzmP02BOkjIl1EOxHpq9pvUaFtXtCv-39y38iDoPM6SVAxAc2WcijJH/s1600/IMG_4561.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="554" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEe5NGSZUpI6tr0B-hCipC6RfZxPtQxWgXU55XoyJhshs_FY-r6jFQCpjUsxgPTdUpnoPVq8-UUD8h1eYFPpgFHqzmP02BOkjIl1EOxHpq9pvUaFtXtCv-39y38iDoPM6SVAxAc2WcijJH/s200/IMG_4561.jpg" width="173" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Not having any passions
that I wanted to cool, I took care on the flat stones crossing the stream and
headed over the fields, through the gates, and past other sites that included
the Avon Mill, a condo building that had a long and semi-prosperous history as
a silk mill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a few steps up the
street, you go by a tablet dated 1694 at St. John’s Almshouse for the poor, a
building that also had a long history, but not tied to silk garments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrpdIGloGBF7v5JmhnlXb831PI9bAnyxV3YjWo9yto3dWlRKj5D7qYl_EfEQ-ArbPFgf0fUTvAhEepxvYoTqjJSYA8pnddzxzGEA2Z9LhuHXQTfKxbH9hPxpO4y1GcarwTW9qoJxiH53h/s1600/IMG_4656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrpdIGloGBF7v5JmhnlXb831PI9bAnyxV3YjWo9yto3dWlRKj5D7qYl_EfEQ-ArbPFgf0fUTvAhEepxvYoTqjJSYA8pnddzxzGEA2Z9LhuHXQTfKxbH9hPxpO4y1GcarwTW9qoJxiH53h/s200/IMG_4656.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For a small town,
Malmesbury foments history and links to intriguing people ranging from
philosopher Thomas Hobbes to Elimer, the 11th century monk who made an early
attempt at human flight sailing 500 feet on glider wings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He broke both legs but has inspired intrepid
dreamers and drinkers in the area for a thousand years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The centerpiece of the
town is the ancient Abbey which holds the effigy and remains of Athelstan, the
first King to conquer and rule all of England. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">All of this and more is
recounted in the notes to the map and other tourist brochures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we also learned a lot by talking to
people on the street and in the shops, and this is where the celery root comes
in handy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BcZ7LEiGl08LsqFXEjE-x4_WCGCGgLuskPc8_J21bCFGYEqPtaITXpceskS93agxYSU2i9JR8t2YV8e6DbA3IEqxNapGeQMLoeXM8f4KvDe0pvMVAETD_33t1aYwd8yEQDOJ1XrafSii/s1600/IMG_4634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BcZ7LEiGl08LsqFXEjE-x4_WCGCGgLuskPc8_J21bCFGYEqPtaITXpceskS93agxYSU2i9JR8t2YV8e6DbA3IEqxNapGeQMLoeXM8f4KvDe0pvMVAETD_33t1aYwd8yEQDOJ1XrafSii/s320/IMG_4634.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Michele had been
looking for a celeriac bulb and was delighted to see a healthy-looking specimen
in the Malmesbury stalls around the old Market Square where we wrapped up our
walk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is a weird looking
bit of produce: a big bulb with a long leafy stem on top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not wanting to carry a grocery bag for the
rest of the day, she plopped the thing into her backpack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looked like she was carrying around a
small tree and was hard to ignore, and it changed our experience of Malmesbury.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For the rest of the
day, people we encountered in shops, in the market, and in the museums felt
obliged to comment on the green bush growing out of my wife’s back, and this
led into lively conversations about where we were from and what brought us to
Malmesbury. People volunteered personal suggestions of things to see and do and
places to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One man told us that he
was not only a Canadian but from New Brunswick and knew the area of Michele’s
family roots well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A woman in the market
gave us some apples seemingly for no other reason than as a gift in return for
a laugh and a chat with a woman who had the outward aspect of a giant squirrel
with a green tail. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBcYc-MZKOz3CXLrIV3fuEl9A0VVqDBZHI-wqxo4ZVKOgZBiwfSmLEo12Da1dgW36e829lczeD7lllpsrv0PBDBMh5HqqJa3tyQrTZWj5nXl_GVPngD9RHpoE0M4WGJdFuLusBC8eKwJ3k/s1600/IMG_4637.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="598" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBcYc-MZKOz3CXLrIV3fuEl9A0VVqDBZHI-wqxo4ZVKOgZBiwfSmLEo12Da1dgW36e829lczeD7lllpsrv0PBDBMh5HqqJa3tyQrTZWj5nXl_GVPngD9RHpoE0M4WGJdFuLusBC8eKwJ3k/s200/IMG_4637.jpg" width="186" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Earlier, during our
walk, we had a similar exchange with a friendly, approachable couple who were
keen to tell us the story of Hannah Twynnoy and to make sure we saw her
tombstone in the churchyard. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According
to local lore and the poem on the stone, Hannah died in 1703 as the first
person to have been killed by a tiger in Britain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was working at a pub next to
a menagerie and was, as per the legend, prone to taunting the animal. Evidently, the tiger's cage wasn't as strong as it could have been. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHxrdkdG-mbBRZaAefA264Q3F3HLkXqBMwr_3PYyJRr1w33v-q09q0sQlUO7BrR7vCSRAzUss8Bb9zZvwdS52tWxz5Iga7iue1zG-78HbGhKkW-UJ3SCzAFff3uTTQL1CFOQRKu0pnKMy/s1600/IMG_4643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHxrdkdG-mbBRZaAefA264Q3F3HLkXqBMwr_3PYyJRr1w33v-q09q0sQlUO7BrR7vCSRAzUss8Bb9zZvwdS52tWxz5Iga7iue1zG-78HbGhKkW-UJ3SCzAFff3uTTQL1CFOQRKu0pnKMy/s200/IMG_4643.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The couple described
the location of her tombstone with its chipped lower right edge perfectly, and
we found it though it would have been easy to miss without this guidance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Recalling our exchanges
with this couple and the other people of Malmesbury that day, I still think
carrying a leafy celery root is a good idea when travelling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it appears that there is something else
that induces friendly and helpful conversations, is easier to transport, and
costs less.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A smile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-79352724448179549472018-10-18T18:44:00.004-07:002018-10-23T12:51:28.133-07:00Going by the Dogs<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMRaQH1v-lk29TvE7_PlZ6lC9HfTkavZk9rrHOtRk6za6T8Q1ApuApy_WmblBcGGRG_VUUdMAIvSKwvNyVXK3KuZPLmrWlEqubdfu6c1r7Zy_8eV9ne83NzzQGzHG5fDS9b6jYhafHrNp/s1600/IMG_4153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMRaQH1v-lk29TvE7_PlZ6lC9HfTkavZk9rrHOtRk6za6T8Q1ApuApy_WmblBcGGRG_VUUdMAIvSKwvNyVXK3KuZPLmrWlEqubdfu6c1r7Zy_8eV9ne83NzzQGzHG5fDS9b6jYhafHrNp/s200/IMG_4153.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You can get to the periodic
island of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Michael%27s_Mount"><span style="color: blue;"><b>St. Michael’s Mount</b></span></a> in several ways.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You can go by bus to
the town of Marazion and walk across the causeway at low tide when the island
is not really an island - or you can go by boat across the water when the sea
level rises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose you could also go
over by helicopter or on the back of one of those giant seagulls that haunt the
Cornish coast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I recommend going
by dog – or, more precisely, by the dogs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I think the best way to
reach the island is by walking along the coastal path from Penzance. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You feel a greater sense of anticipation as the
pointed mount and the turreted castle rise up and grow in size every step of
the way; you look out at the majesty of the sea; and you go by the dogs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of happy, excited dogs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ltULS_QWxNecPtA38_RhxGPoqa32Hmd7ggDF1iCAm9jRFpudcAWSTR2PXpjKAykApcemIriTc4pMWkHh1_6ZzT8hYqRzhbDlzLYNsQ60UbaZnW6IFN3lSkJZiQFVelVNRwdyJE-D65F-/s1600/IMG_4213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="633" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ltULS_QWxNecPtA38_RhxGPoqa32Hmd7ggDF1iCAm9jRFpudcAWSTR2PXpjKAykApcemIriTc4pMWkHh1_6ZzT8hYqRzhbDlzLYNsQ60UbaZnW6IFN3lSkJZiQFVelVNRwdyJE-D65F-/s200/IMG_4213.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">At low tide every day, the
locals head out onto the uncovered sand and stones to walk their pets. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dog owners immediately unleash their
animal friends to let them sniff the sea floor and run in what may be the
longest dog-friendly park in England.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The combination of the sea
air, the sight of the approaching island castle, and the unleashed jubilation
on the beach amplify the experience of a visit to the Mount, and the five-mile walk
stretches it out allowing you time to appreciate the interactions between
humans and nature that have made this place special. Though we enjoyed other parts of the South West Coastal Path when in Mousehole and St. Ives, I think of St. Michael's Mount first when recalling the seaside trail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIBk4bPjuNg2k6gxw4gho4Puvo_0bBtCbQc4OC2RsAH0YGpbV-2PxeW09iZxJyDqY3IhO6P01nnaVC4zjhzOxsFhGgCxW70MaBpBvV3kADsN-Aeyk3dnKLYqO8CYbYkPnQyVHnyk0zuJdP/s1600/IMG_4226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIBk4bPjuNg2k6gxw4gho4Puvo_0bBtCbQc4OC2RsAH0YGpbV-2PxeW09iZxJyDqY3IhO6P01nnaVC4zjhzOxsFhGgCxW70MaBpBvV3kADsN-Aeyk3dnKLYqO8CYbYkPnQyVHnyk0zuJdP/s200/IMG_4226.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Mount is the
best known of a few dozen English islands that one can reach on foot at low
tide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has a unique history, topography,
appearance, and an ambiance that was boosted in the 11<sup>th</sup> century
after Norman invaders noted its physical similarity to Mont St. Michel, a tidal
island and religious complex off the north coast of France. This prompted the
Normans to invite Benedictine monks to the far tip of Cornwall, and here they
established a twin, albeit smaller, abbey across the channel from the French
original. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Fortifications and other
structures were added over the centuries as the island and its stone buildings
passed through many hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, it is shared
between the National Trust and the descendants of the St. Aubyn family who acquired
it in 1640. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">St. Michael’s Mount has
lots to entertain visitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It shows the
marks of many important points in England’s past from the 17<sup>th</sup>
century Civil War to World War II; it rates designation as a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Site of Special Scientific Interest</i>
because of its geology; and it even holds a privileged place in folklore as the
legendary home of Cormoran, the ogre whose demise came at the hands of “Jack
the Giant Killer.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3EOGDIlGXbvTIjLLGeaNVbCv6d2biJqOnnyOBc88_6qDIRI27dFi8npNtoRHStDMYABYi1_KhC8kh0drHo_XpEwoAUyb4B04kCo7CJ7-APz7nbc0cVrcn9R-Sm8314asMWpkBFpcxR8x/s1600/IMG_4155.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3EOGDIlGXbvTIjLLGeaNVbCv6d2biJqOnnyOBc88_6qDIRI27dFi8npNtoRHStDMYABYi1_KhC8kh0drHo_XpEwoAUyb4B04kCo7CJ7-APz7nbc0cVrcn9R-Sm8314asMWpkBFpcxR8x/s320/IMG_4155.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">All of this history,
recorded and imagined, flows from the site’s unusual physical shape, its
natural surroundings, and the human response to them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dog owners and dogs who take advantage of the
changing tides to make their daily lives more enjoyable and interesting build
on this tradition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You are reminded of
this and, again, have a richer experience visiting St. Michael’s Mount if you
walk to it along the coast, smell the sea air, and go by the dogs. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-80173489679682161902018-10-18T06:49:00.002-07:002018-10-23T12:52:26.502-07:00Chocolate Box Head<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggoblo009PPLARdjvqhrRrUR3zDMXHIv81mq6cGjJfnYYFI-LNW5BTV-iWiNK2ZcRhJ-E_Xuy06iB3MHHVuSMunLtMKxJnJyPtRY1CXx2o1zGgMjxMh25YXZ5PlLvoLGjEBgoCRSfStqKD/s1600/IMG_3293.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggoblo009PPLARdjvqhrRrUR3zDMXHIv81mq6cGjJfnYYFI-LNW5BTV-iWiNK2ZcRhJ-E_Xuy06iB3MHHVuSMunLtMKxJnJyPtRY1CXx2o1zGgMjxMh25YXZ5PlLvoLGjEBgoCRSfStqKD/s320/IMG_3293.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“It’s embarrassing,” I
said. “And I feel like I have to explain myself.”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I took photos, measured
door frames, and made notes confident in what I was doing though Michele questioned
my actions. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“Are you sure there is
nothing wrong with your head?” she asked with genuine concern.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Thanks to the generosity
of a travelling friend, we were in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutton_Benger"><b><span style="color: blue;">Wiltshire village of Sutton Benger</span></b></a> living
in a four-hundred-year-old English cottage. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">An archetype “chocolate box house” of the kind
Cadbury’s used to decorate its products in the late 19<sup>th</sup> century,
Bell Cottage had a thatched roof, wood beams covered in a plaster-like mixture,
and thick walls, maybe up to three feet wide in places.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It once served, we were told, as a home to
the gamekeeper or other manager-level servant on an early Viscount Wellesley’s
country estate, and it had character and class. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">The back doors of the
cottage opened into a long garden dense with a mix of ornamental </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSkkIbCecT5mIc5b-3Jx46VGrkAPVQCvQegOEqKJVloL9qGk6zxDNkLiRKdCH_bJhY6JPE07ami1Inp6Uo3Dt6gzzx-ASvCaxYemK2FwHsax8gx8hiRtvcyjh21rrenYEAp8WtJQWZasg9/s1600/IMG_3297.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSkkIbCecT5mIc5b-3Jx46VGrkAPVQCvQegOEqKJVloL9qGk6zxDNkLiRKdCH_bJhY6JPE07ami1Inp6Uo3Dt6gzzx-ASvCaxYemK2FwHsax8gx8hiRtvcyjh21rrenYEAp8WtJQWZasg9/s200/IMG_3297.jpg" width="150" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">plants and
lush green.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Roses and vines climbed up the
sides of the building, and a dry-stone wall hugged the property.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Inside, modern conveniences flowed into the comforts
of a home with personality. </span><span style="margin: 0px;"> </span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It was all very
pleasant. But my preoccupation rested on those wood beams and thick walls.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I kept hitting my head
on them, over and over again, as I passed through doorways built for people who
were either much shorter than my breed or bent over with heavy loads of game
and grain. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Our host had, upon
meeting us for the first time, warned us of the door dangers. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In pointing them out, she looked past 5 foot 3
inch Michele.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I’m 6-4 and took note, being
familiar with the need to duck and stoop. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But two months </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7tRGS6pKzTyML7Y7Im9jO62lJEsWIbiioASpO1ONMl3liNtyOdombrF-vNHEu4yWrhk_xTGsnu4069DKWCJiYKhnk-gkdqjmP47cFH6h2BGBjN-UNG4eswamRERMUqy5TZIHhSJQhQtvA/s1600/IMG_4797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7tRGS6pKzTyML7Y7Im9jO62lJEsWIbiioASpO1ONMl3liNtyOdombrF-vNHEu4yWrhk_xTGsnu4069DKWCJiYKhnk-gkdqjmP47cFH6h2BGBjN-UNG4eswamRERMUqy5TZIHhSJQhQtvA/s320/IMG_4797.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">later, I was still hitting my
head with cracking sounds audible in the next room.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Every day. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Sometimes several times. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Or at least so it seemed.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">So, on this day as our
time in the cottage neared an end, I decided to inventory and inspect the doorframes
and other contact points throughout the house to try to understand and document
the reasons for my continuing cranial collisions.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“Guess what?” I said
presenting my report to Michele. “The entrance way has four different doors
leading off it: one going outside, one into the laundry room, one into the
kitchen, and one into the back living room.” </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“Yeah, I know that. So what?”</span></div>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjThCng17jcfbi3nYw030oCb3r7WPl1q9D70GFCuwHP2rUjR5HJmkXn79Y55EevFIcp7s1ix7XYgulTwArmE0Hw42EOOwge3ZdfDAR-hwvGYELr35bgG9TvYFQTlSALMoPem7M3OEQN3SXU/s1600/IMG_4741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjThCng17jcfbi3nYw030oCb3r7WPl1q9D70GFCuwHP2rUjR5HJmkXn79Y55EevFIcp7s1ix7XYgulTwArmE0Hw42EOOwge3ZdfDAR-hwvGYELr35bgG9TvYFQTlSALMoPem7M3OEQN3SXU/s200/IMG_4741.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“They’re all different
heights.” I said with a whimper trying to describe the challenges I faced. “One
hits my forehead, another my nose, the entrance comes below my chin – almost to
my shoulder for Christ’s sake, and the kitchen door looks fine from the side,
but skims the top of my skull.”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I showed my
photographic and numerical evidence and then pointed out that not only were
these and other doorways dungeon-wall deep, but in places they changed heights
several times in the course of the passage.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>On stairways, the hard surface above could be over your head as you
entered from one direction and below it at the other end. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“So, why don’t you just
crouch down all the time?” she said with sincerity.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: left;">
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0px;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd04gxdpQYu6PegPxGW4s1JxGa6QRHroBCkggKEKdc4hq3N7VXV2s-Okf-fMnDmpgQfqKOebAwTsM4q2L0iuyreCOOQ8zXnLYhWdLoMI2Hfuok5s0e-3BZU0GPigJglV4LV51LVd8Toaqk/s1600/IMG_4802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; clear: right; color: #0066cc; float: right; font-family: &quot; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd04gxdpQYu6PegPxGW4s1JxGa6QRHroBCkggKEKdc4hq3N7VXV2s-Okf-fMnDmpgQfqKOebAwTsM4q2L0iuyreCOOQ8zXnLYhWdLoMI2Hfuok5s0e-3BZU0GPigJglV4LV51LVd8Toaqk/s1600/IMG_4802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: left;">
<span style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxThYH7i2vAzTfkeBzPnSRujSnTqek6Ko37aTYdUyD5hkxNcTNhd6elC1UFERiovf3zqvaZzoMrhfBjbyszSXG6Jovym5f54oDYcNQ3zsct5a_e2vZKXjjrYny7Eeyzj1cgyjec3P9yqVE/s1600/IMG_4802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; clear: right; color: #0066cc; float: right; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 16px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxThYH7i2vAzTfkeBzPnSRujSnTqek6Ko37aTYdUyD5hkxNcTNhd6elC1UFERiovf3zqvaZzoMrhfBjbyszSXG6Jovym5f54oDYcNQ3zsct5a_e2vZKXjjrYny7Eeyzj1cgyjec3P9yqVE/s1600/IMG_4802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="399" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxThYH7i2vAzTfkeBzPnSRujSnTqek6Ko37aTYdUyD5hkxNcTNhd6elC1UFERiovf3zqvaZzoMrhfBjbyszSXG6Jovym5f54oDYcNQ3zsct5a_e2vZKXjjrYny7Eeyzj1cgyjec3P9yqVE/s320/IMG_4802.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="199" /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">“Maybe, I should always
walk on my hands and knees,” I responded with less sincerity, imitating a Neanderthal
in both posture and temperament. </span>In any case, varying
heights and thick doorways were not my only challenge.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">In the den upstairs, a white plaster wall enclosed
the doorway to the bathroom, but within the wall, dark beams formed a secondary
frame.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>At a glance, the timber looks
like the actual doorway and gives the appearance of something much higher. The white
plaster now carries light scuffs from many encounters with the side of my head.
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“I know that taking
photos and measuring seems a little crazy, but like I said, it’s kind of embarrassing
that I’m still hitting my head after months in this place,” I said satisfied
and resting the case in my defense. “I felt like I had to justify it.”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“Well, okay, but to whom?”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-7098319462266233452018-10-17T16:48:00.002-07:002018-10-23T12:55:08.156-07:00Doing your Best at the Lit Fest <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUWk03dC2bxVHbs4xFY06KA4Qw9ATC31W_7X4HjFrZuAPXhTL9ELfSqR47ymbZ4UuOaTWqSAWD1sAXytlf963IfY1csVvsn2esWGzqvOUp39YYzm2S0LvWcTqFvspDsUJRbiJtOwggoehR/s1600/IMG_3972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUWk03dC2bxVHbs4xFY06KA4Qw9ATC31W_7X4HjFrZuAPXhTL9ELfSqR47ymbZ4UuOaTWqSAWD1sAXytlf963IfY1csVvsn2esWGzqvOUp39YYzm2S0LvWcTqFvspDsUJRbiJtOwggoehR/s400/IMG_3972.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When travelling, my
wife and I try to work as volunteers at writers’ festivals or book fairs. You
get a chance to meet authors in informal settings; you make friends with local
book lovers; you often get free passes; and you have the opportunity to feel
useful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
With some of these ends in mind, we sent inquiries to the <a href="https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/literature/about-the-festival/"><b><span style="color: blue;">Literature Festival in Cheltenham</span></b></a> and to <a href="http://www.janeaustenfestivalbath.co.uk/"><b><span style="color: blue;">the Jane Austen Festival in Bath</span></b></a> prior to our trip to the
U.K. this year. An auto reply from the first informed us that the application
process had closed. Human organizers of the second responded saying that our
names would be added to the back-up list. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But their email included a winking imoji with
a tongue stuck in its cheek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieruhxTAc4TV5vS-_4Hm0ZtJ2UFhWqT_qkr7QqEmkBYsz0CJ-LdXpLaiglf4ue4vYxUslS4ZHdxskvjLeqVNCi124cbeSIOCSYL_dK2oeqWWEOewhyPdxrTBEMjMCePhOxVRJbyC9tahV9/s1600/IMG_3926.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieruhxTAc4TV5vS-_4Hm0ZtJ2UFhWqT_qkr7QqEmkBYsz0CJ-LdXpLaiglf4ue4vYxUslS4ZHdxskvjLeqVNCi124cbeSIOCSYL_dK2oeqWWEOewhyPdxrTBEMjMCePhOxVRJbyC9tahV9/s200/IMG_3926.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We thus resigned
ourselves to trying to create an immersive, participatory experience at these
events as humble attendees. The Jane Austen Festival makes this easy if you are
one of those who doesn’t mind dressing up in odd Regency period costumes,
bowing, curtsying, and saying things like “Might I take leave m’Lady to adjust
my breeches.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I was not among their
ranks, but still felt like a bit player in a grand performance watching the
kick off Promenade and later haggling over hats at the Festival Fayre. We were determined
to attend as many other events as we and our budget could handle. But with many
favourites sold out, we bought tickets to something called “Austen Undone”
without knowing what a “Theatrical Comedy Walk” was all about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was great. I’m still
smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxD-YXFFYmEQljIF_m5mlntFGlvH7MMZoTL7oWJkyvTFncRkqZf7JGfaPL3zT1MSEeonCZuX1EOtp5etM9vkIxV77IBk6bKeYIb7qkZJCUkX5-P6gV1qXIVIDKeJYAnsbduVD87PaosC-R/s1600/IMG_4762.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxD-YXFFYmEQljIF_m5mlntFGlvH7MMZoTL7oWJkyvTFncRkqZf7JGfaPL3zT1MSEeonCZuX1EOtp5etM9vkIxV77IBk6bKeYIb7qkZJCUkX5-P6gV1qXIVIDKeJYAnsbduVD87PaosC-R/s200/IMG_4762.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Actors from a troupe
called the Natural Theatre Company lead you and a group of about a dozen others
around Bath while acting out a play that echoes Jane Austen’s romance and style
in an over-the-top way. The roaming actors pepper the tour group with questions
and requests for counsel at every stop. I was caught between two female
characters engaged in a sword-fight duel with umbrellas that still cracks me up
and probably would have been fun even if I had been stabbed by a brolly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You felt part of
something, and for that reason, it might have been the best part of the Jane
Austen Festival for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we were
also impressed elsewhere by costumed ticket takers who always seemed to be playing
a part and by speakers who entered the audience before their performances to banter
about Jane. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michele said she had a
similar feeling at the Regency Dance Workshop, an event I had to skip after
reading that the requirements for participants included “lightness and grace.”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXxtc0An1lmb03_XsiCky_IfGxvjzk6qzf4_oj3ktmyByI0S50uAOi9m2pYe6GMvwHy0SdGKEGcNF6knbnrFDCxc7giwOqdZL_oCm6bYUTATvDo1BRxODRoh-s_h8K7U3-jArnpXE6q7Ui/s1600/IMG_4008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1311" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXxtc0An1lmb03_XsiCky_IfGxvjzk6qzf4_oj3ktmyByI0S50uAOi9m2pYe6GMvwHy0SdGKEGcNF6knbnrFDCxc7giwOqdZL_oCm6bYUTATvDo1BRxODRoh-s_h8K7U3-jArnpXE6q7Ui/s200/IMG_4008.jpg" width="163" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Our time at the
Festival concluded at a spirited operatic version of Austen’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Persuasion</i>. The performance was pretty
straightforward, but the intimacy of Bath’s Mission Theatre combined with
bumping into some of the cast at Sally Lunn’s Eating House afterward left us
with another sprinkle on our immersive experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Hoping to build on this
a few weeks later in Cheltenham, I might have even agreed to put on a top hat,
tail coat, and cravat as the temperatures had
dropped and wind made the outdoor venues chilly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we spent the bulk of our time in the ornate,
century-old assembly room called “The Town Hall.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The events in the Hall included a monologue
presentation by historian and writer Sarah Dunant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dunant did an excellent job with an animated presentation
focused on her specialty of Renaissance history and the ultra-quirky Borgia
family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLFWqAUDxuG1FVAKylM_NoyRaaZjPVhtdWezQcSq1216VvGHuxov3lcMqrY27leVuvLJIThKVqbgO6DJVXzdkPjSXrw84Uz_CNaOLEPfhbGR0LpHfplYKugZ8nz7_n-uNqIgzhyXUb3AcE/s1600/IMG_2519+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLFWqAUDxuG1FVAKylM_NoyRaaZjPVhtdWezQcSq1216VvGHuxov3lcMqrY27leVuvLJIThKVqbgO6DJVXzdkPjSXrw84Uz_CNaOLEPfhbGR0LpHfplYKugZ8nz7_n-uNqIgzhyXUb3AcE/s320/IMG_2519+2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Still, I found the interview-style
session with Booker prize-winning author Pat Barker particularly engaging.
Though best known for historical fiction around the world wars of the 20th
century, the seventy-five-year-old author came to Cheltenham to talk about a
different era and to flog a different kind of novel: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Silence of the Girls</i>, which tells the story of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Iliad</i> from the supporting-role perspective
of Briseis, the war-prize woman awarded to and then taken from Achilles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The interviewer was
Dame Mary Beard, a Cambridge classics prof and television presenter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if Mary Beard volunteered or got
paid for this gig, but I was struck by how she never tried to impress the
audience with her ocean of knowledge on the subject at hand and instead kept
the focus on Ms. Barker, her work, and her thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4UsZ_lrxmXCB1A6vLOB5GDr0ODqiaL9KpVZmcp2Wt_UE0ecVHQ7vIS7rXZ8k3HLPw82EB2Sqm7ueS-0Q0gGXIVK1xrhWReMaHy1gTMXkRka67VtyIplBI0IVR7NoMXYP13_pdasQF3r-/s1600/IMG_4674.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4UsZ_lrxmXCB1A6vLOB5GDr0ODqiaL9KpVZmcp2Wt_UE0ecVHQ7vIS7rXZ8k3HLPw82EB2Sqm7ueS-0Q0gGXIVK1xrhWReMaHy1gTMXkRka67VtyIplBI0IVR7NoMXYP13_pdasQF3r-/s320/IMG_4674.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, but you really
should take advantage of the opportunity to meet Pat and have her sign a book,”
she said when mention was made of the availability of Beard’s own works on
site.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although an expert on ancient Greece and
capable of steering the conversation in this direction, Beard instead
questioned her guest on contemporary issues such as the #MeToo movement and the
state of fiction writing today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Barker
mused that we might be in a “#SoWhat?” moment in respect to the latter and encouraged
writers, particularly those of her vintage, to help the situation by taking
more risks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“If you’re not taking
risks (at my age), then what are you hanging around for anyway?” she asked in a
forthright British way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As we left the hall
after the talks, we passed a long line waiting to have books signed, and while
I really enjoyed the events as a paying attendee, I found myself envious of the
volunteers directing the crowds. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rwDHa_E8VphPGESVGMMrdSS_MOTLOW62SOSO5agCbcROSusm1JktzbGVlZf6sgGAeBxCefhy7-LRJYwdv7oe9ZJBMwnUCPrYsyywZ1Mhvd3yABLJg16LXCQ-k_Y6l10dXT8Fw9yUiMPJ/s1600/IMG_2501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1403" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rwDHa_E8VphPGESVGMMrdSS_MOTLOW62SOSO5agCbcROSusm1JktzbGVlZf6sgGAeBxCefhy7-LRJYwdv7oe9ZJBMwnUCPrYsyywZ1Mhvd3yABLJg16LXCQ-k_Y6l10dXT8Fw9yUiMPJ/s400/IMG_2501.jpg" width="350" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It caused me to reflect
on Mary Beard and others working in supporting roles that day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I loved watching people
working to promote children’s literature at the outdoor festival site by
helping kids climb giant books, stand for photos on oversized typewriter keys,
and pose with mascots. The people serving food from trucks and tents added to
the festive atmosphere with weird sausages, steak pies, seafood, and macaroni
and cheese in a cup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The volunteers taking
tickets at the Town Hall included a woman who jumped up, walked around the
tables, and led me out onto the street and down the block to make sure I knew exactly
where to find a cab for the train station.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The fibre that links
all these incidents and people, as you may have noted, was the simple desire to
be helpful: to be useful. Their work reminded me of why volunteers are valued at
writers’ festivals and book events and why people like me get to enjoy privileges
and certain benefits in this role. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
may also explain why attempts to replicate the experience as an observer and
simple attendee fall short and, in comparison to the active role and engagement
of the volunteers, can seem hollow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thinking about how I
could be helpful after the fact prompted me to write this blog, believing that
it’s worth doing even if the only person it helps is me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It will remind me to
plan far ahead, to apply to volunteer early, to contribute, and maybe to try harder
to be helpful in other circumstances as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For, of course, you
don’t have to volunteer at a book event to be useful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><a href="http://stubbornbooks.blogspot.com/2018/10/england-2018.html"><b><span style="color: blue;">Back to Blogs on England</span></b></a></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-35225930307645793512018-10-11T02:07:00.002-07:002018-10-23T12:56:35.112-07:00Beyond Brunel <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Three things about England intimidate me: roundabouts off the M-4 motorway, pub food that sounds like a personal injury or disease, and Isambard Kingdom Brunel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">English country roads intensify the driving-on-the-left experience by always favouring the cars coming at you. City streets clog and clench around rows of abandoned vehicles, and roundabouts allow left, right, or no turn signal at all even though everyone must go clockwise. Add in the volume and speed of a motorway, and whirlwinds of metal, glass, and honking horns result. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">After a day on English roads, you feel like a drink. But in order to get one, you have to work through a menu that threatens to give you Rumbledethumps, Kedgeree, Spotted Dick, Singin’ Hinnies, Deadman’s Leg, or a Toad in your Hole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Unsettling for sure. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But I would suffer an advanced case of Spotted Dick and Rumbledethumps while heading counter clockwise on an M-4 roundabout rather than be on the wrong side of the powerhouse that was E.K. Brunel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A 19<sup>th</sup>century engineer who died in his early fifties, the energetic Brunel packed an impressive portfolio into his shortened life. He led the design and construction of twenty-five rail lines, a hundred bridges, and three great ships as well as housing developments, churches, and hospitals. His projects included the world’s longest railway tunnel, unique ocean-going vessels, and other record setters. For many, the little man with a big hat personified the productive, building side of the Industrial Revolution. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As someone fascinated by engineering and technology history, I should have seized upon our extended time in South West England this year to learn more about the man and his works.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevu8IRo-HjQNFiPsyYa1_krd-pZfn93DOKIksMWZyYgMdWtM_609YmEjcpEgoZTc51BltlKVQwoPsH5PWMlkyMTeNnZmx7WN7r9e23zECYntNUbl3wQIK7U_cUosi-VgkRsPF2oGrsNvN/s1600/IMG_4098.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1193" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevu8IRo-HjQNFiPsyYa1_krd-pZfn93DOKIksMWZyYgMdWtM_609YmEjcpEgoZTc51BltlKVQwoPsH5PWMlkyMTeNnZmx7WN7r9e23zECYntNUbl3wQIK7U_cUosi-VgkRsPF2oGrsNvN/s320/IMG_4098.jpg" width="238" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />But the intimidating diversity of his career made any serious study of his life seem like a hopeless enterprise, and I satisfied myself with reading a bit online, taking note of tunnels and turns on the train into Bath, and smiling at the Brunel Pub in Chippenham. I might have limited my Brunel study to this kind of activity had we not resolved to make time for a trip into Bristol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Many places can and do claim association with the great man and his name. He was born in Portsmouth and studied in France. Swindon celebrates his Great Western Railway with its museum STEAM. London has the Brunel University, and you find a Brunel Bus Station in Slough. But no place has a greater link to the man than Bristol, the base for his liveliest work including the construction of the <i><a href="https://www.ssgreatbritain.org/"><b><span style="color: blue;">SS Great Britain</span></b></a>,</i>the huge passenger ship that was raised from the seabed near the Falklands, dragged across the ocean, and resurrected over a decade ago to become an award-winning museum on the Bristol waterfront. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9bPCRZ7nqi5VV06ie6sL0q3fCi2jdTQMxp9t_7mV2ZZ6816ibkbxce8Ei-180kRTMr8GuaYj9m0eOB8zcuh9TcccCp7mWKBr-RupEO5IdN2OV7gxNL6-VR14meAYChyuQoRqrSsYUqIV/s1600/IMG_4037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1066" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9bPCRZ7nqi5VV06ie6sL0q3fCi2jdTQMxp9t_7mV2ZZ6816ibkbxce8Ei-180kRTMr8GuaYj9m0eOB8zcuh9TcccCp7mWKBr-RupEO5IdN2OV7gxNL6-VR14meAYChyuQoRqrSsYUqIV/s320/IMG_4037.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The ship would be attraction enough for anyone even mildly interested in its story and the mind behind it. But this year, the draw was magnified by the opening of an adjacent exhibit building named <i>Being Brunel</i>. <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Heading into Bristol, I tried hard to see Brunel less as an engineering god and more as a mortal whose life might instruct people like me. I looked at the stream of tracks and the tunnels as technically simple and well-honed components just repeated in volume on the backs of others. But arrival at the Temple Meads train station jerked me back into awareness of Brunel’s unique, creative hand. Though the station that travellers pass through today is the work of others, Brunel’s original with its intricate stone and iron beauty inspired their designs as well as the pens, pencils, and paint of 19<sup>th</sup>century artists. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Knowing the <i>SS Great Britain </i>and <i>Being Brunel </i>could consume all available time, we decided to tour a bit of Bristol first. Michele wanted to explore the St. Nicholas Markets, and I was game. But as we headed up Victoria Street, I insisted on a detour down a laneway to <i>The Seven Stars</i>, a small pub known as the launchpad for the anti-slavery movement in England. Abolitionist Thomas Clarkson stayed there in 1787 while conducting interviews and documenting the horror in papers that would inspire the ultimately successful campaign. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7QqQRY3xS-Qx9PrxgSjyZ_ZXXeznmOEA70hTzspVV5015SH8MNpmdyEbdS4-StNAOE7OSXQdQcuc2Prb7dKN6RiGBFnvxV_8bRjBoU3dCJMT2yLeAv4BsuZJupbD7aeQTNGdtn4qejwj/s1600/IMG_4035.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7QqQRY3xS-Qx9PrxgSjyZ_ZXXeznmOEA70hTzspVV5015SH8MNpmdyEbdS4-StNAOE7OSXQdQcuc2Prb7dKN6RiGBFnvxV_8bRjBoU3dCJMT2yLeAv4BsuZJupbD7aeQTNGdtn4qejwj/s320/IMG_4035.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Again, I thought of “the backs of others” and how Brunel’s risks and trials were largely tests of intellect and ego and how his gambles were often with money and lives that were not his own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The notion of real risk struck me as well after we crossed the river and headed toward the <i>Great Britain. </i> A tall friendly gent intercepted us, and with enthusiasm and the inducement of free entry led us aboard the <i>Matthew, </i>a replica of a 15<sup>th</sup>century sailing ship that I knew about but had not expected to encounter this day.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our host, a volunteer with the charity that maintains the ship, reminded us that a group of Bristol enthusiasts built this version of the <i>Matthew </i></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">to celebrate the 500th anniversary of its namesake’s voyage across the Atlantic. An intrepid crew that included a crazy Canadian or two repeated the trip over the ocean to Newfoundland in 1997.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_1wKsJcHJpBB_KoB5d0ybS6DhQO6CnjqUG-zxAQXGQR9RKNtzS-CId6Ys5WmcEUsHqYEpniEXDobuRc5dvb8ifpFc55Aqs6cySTK4r7PG-JEmYzxHiZ01eWBEKPdqPAHiskGQLDl5IXHD/s1600/IMG_4055.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_1wKsJcHJpBB_KoB5d0ybS6DhQO6CnjqUG-zxAQXGQR9RKNtzS-CId6Ys5WmcEUsHqYEpniEXDobuRc5dvb8ifpFc55Aqs6cySTK4r7PG-JEmYzxHiZ01eWBEKPdqPAHiskGQLDl5IXHD/s320/IMG_4055.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I can’t think of a worse nightmare,” said Michele, who gets motion sick if she doesn’t face forward on the train or sit in a front seat on the bus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As I dropped a bill into the collection box and thanked our new friend for his efforts to commemorate our joint history, I looked up and wondered </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">how Brunel and his stomach might do swaying in the crow’s nest bouncing </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">over North Atlantic waves. Once again, I sought to see the engineer’s intimidating achievements with some perspective.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But within minutes, the giant masts and bulk of the <i>SS Great Britain </i>appeared on the waterfront, and I fell back into awe. The ship is the centrepiece, but not the only feature of the museum site which grew in width to match its height as we approached. From the entrance, you pass through a dockyard building that recreates the sights, sounds, and smells of the 19th century and evokes the heavy lifting of iron shipbuilding. With a Visitor’s Pass that reads “Crew Boarding Card,” you climb up to enter the ship and begin a tour that leads through the cabins and promenades on the luxury levels and then down to the cramped darkness of steerage, the dank engine room, and a galley framed by video screens with images of scurrying rats. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwZClzxI6ZNV4GTFy7Nv6impjfAIcOzLeRXlCYZYKq0adgQNHUV_8LKKn2iPtsjuwhTj0YOnMnT6OEHWZLOHOStYPhdf_kGKi35OCBR1a6IM1vkCHKlSVuj5SExp52RFmJ48AlBLnMmBtY/s1600/IMG_4078.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwZClzxI6ZNV4GTFy7Nv6impjfAIcOzLeRXlCYZYKq0adgQNHUV_8LKKn2iPtsjuwhTj0YOnMnT6OEHWZLOHOStYPhdf_kGKi35OCBR1a6IM1vkCHKlSVuj5SExp52RFmJ48AlBLnMmBtY/s320/IMG_4078.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The ship and its environs remind you of the hard work, discomfort, and risk encountered by those beyond Brunel who put the vessel into use. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />But the final two phases of the tour brought me back to my starting point of intimidation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A unique and memorable part of the <i>SS Great Britain </i>experience comes with the opportunity to go below the water level and inspect the hull up close. You pass under the water but not into it. A huge glass plate surrounds the ship to insulate and protect the rusty underside from further corrosion. But because a shallow layer of water floods the glass plate, the ship seems afloat, and you feel like you are going under the waterline as you enter the space around the rusting hull. From this lower vantage point, the immense size of the project and its design looms over you. The giant propeller, more than anything, reminded me of the vision, skill, and personality of Isambard Kingdom Brunel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />The use of a screw-propeller on the ship only came after vigorous and tense debates with investors who favoured the paddle-wheels of the Mississippi riverboat kind. Brunel persisted and won the day having seen a propeller driven boat in action and having conducted his own experiments. Confident and convinced of the technology, he never flinched even though the expense threatened the entire project and even though his original six-blade version had to be replaced with a more effective four-blade type for the ship’s successful run. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The museum recreates that testy debate with investors in a looped video screened for three-dimensional effect and culminates with displays that remind visitors of that long, diverse list of engineering achievements that, in sum, reinforce the image of a confident, capable and larger than life figure behind them. The museum drives home the message with something that is itself larger-than-life. A full colour, eight-metre bust of the great man with his trademark cigar and tall hat. I smiled knowing that Brunel stood about five feet tall when hatless, but again wondered if I could find any way to relate to him and his story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Like tens of thousands of others, I took a photo of the big head. In fact, I took lots. I have developed the habit of taking many, many digital photos in museums so that I can pass through the exhibits daydreaming and not thinking in a directed way. I check and edit the photos later when I can absorb detail and information with support from the Internet and more time. For this reason, I didn’t notice what is now the part of <i>Being Brunel </i>that haunts me most until later sitting at a restaurant. Stabbing fish and chips and scanning the photos, I saw an image that had to be enlarged. It showed an item that was only a few centimetres in size: it was this phrase from Brunel’s once-locked diary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I am always afraid…”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brunel not only wrote of self doubts and insecurity, but also of the fear that his obsessions and his drive to take on great, unimaginable projects were a function of a kind of madness. The text makes him more human and, paradoxically, a more useful role model.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />He encountered many setbacks, insecurities, and disheartening opposition. But these were dwarfed by successes and his capacity to persevere, and as we left Temple Meads on the train back to Chippenham, I thought that there might be a bit of magic in that combination of intimidating self doubt and a little madness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The following week I called on this formula when I drove away from the Enterprise Car Rental office, clenched my teeth, and headed for the motorway - and then later in a pub when I closed my eyes, pointed at the menu, and ordered lunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-28153600830350124072018-10-06T07:42:00.000-07:002018-10-23T12:57:35.313-07:00Lazy in Lacock<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don’t mind admitting that I am getting older. But just not out loud. And not to other people. Even my wife. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So, I said nothing. I zipped up my jacket, pulled out my hood, and tried to hide a sneeze while cramming the National Trust map into a plastic case. <a href="https://nt.global.ssl.fastly.net/images/1552f952flacock-village.jpg?width=1920&auto=webp&crop=16:9"><span style="color: blue;"><b>The map</b></span></a> plotted a trail around the medieval village of <a href="https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lacock-abbey-fox-talbot-museum-and-village"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Lacock</b></span></a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Like a holy trinity of tourism, walks, pubs, and historic sites have, as a grouping, guided our travels in Britain for many years. We treat the frame as sacrosanct, believing that physical exercise and cultural exposure will forgive caloric excess, and we plot our days along these lines even when temperatures numb fingertips and history lessons numb the mind.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our plan for Lacock thus formed around a stroll through the countryside, a tour of the Abbey, and a stop for a bite and a beer. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But the X34 bus ride from Chippenham proved just long enough to notice overcast skies, check the iPhone, and absorb the implication of “seventy per cent chance.” Staring at dung-splattered fields and wiping drips from my nostrils, I wondered for the first time whether I had not dragged my feet across enough of soggy England, whether my body and spirit had not reached the time for drop-off-at-the-door tour buses, and whether any real harm could come from just staying indoors - forever. I felt old. But incapable of admitting it audibly, I devised evasions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Maybe we should stop here first,” I said pointing to the café and public toilets next to the Red Lion pub. “If it starts raining, we can kill time ‘til the Abbey opens.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Over tea and scones, we studied the prescribed walk. It begins at the pub, leads down side streets, and loops around the village to the entrance of the Abbey. Just a few miles in length, it usually takes less than an hour, short by English rambling standards. But with threatening skies, aches in important body parts, and a stuffed head, I thought “short is good.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“This thing is not very long,” Michele observed while stirring her spoon and shaking her Fitbit. “Let’s wander off the trail, take our time, and enjoy the scenery.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiitF6y_yinFshwgCy40eGwUIHsiT8HEbyU2E0KmtUJvUFlrM9tsp66RkCfO8inLXOdt9IF0BlQr8flbsB7uosVa2AwwWAs-EXmtS0Ga76R-8hw-Qf3qs8Jmtrb_EyDuVsh40tj3xT_TMMH/s1600/05i1hxFWTquuvD5l4mLEPw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiitF6y_yinFshwgCy40eGwUIHsiT8HEbyU2E0KmtUJvUFlrM9tsp66RkCfO8inLXOdt9IF0BlQr8flbsB7uosVa2AwwWAs-EXmtS0Ga76R-8hw-Qf3qs8Jmtrb_EyDuVsh40tj3xT_TMMH/s400/05i1hxFWTquuvD5l4mLEPw.jpg" width="300" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Having finished two teas and two toilet trips, I nodded and accepted that departure time had arrived. We bundled up, crossed the road, and headed down a pinched strip of pavement labelled East Street. The clouds had darkened, misty droplets fell, and, within a few steps, I grasped another opportunity to step back inside at “The Tithe Barn,” an empty stone building that would beg passing on days when sun fills the skies and more energy fills the walkers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“We really should check this out,” I said pointing to a plaque that claims that the barn remains much as it was in the 14th century. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />With my cold and flu, I felt that I too had been born in the 14th century and that I must be truly suffering to consider this dank and dark space a refuge. But as I feigned interest in the bare floors and walls to stretch out time in the dryness, my mind drifted into imaginings of fleece and corn left by farmers grateful for their mucky, laborious lives. I could sense the sweat and tears of centuries in the fields and measured them against the minimal misery of my drizzle and sniffle circumstance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Let’s get going,” Michele said. “I’d really like to tour the Abbey gardens after the walk.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Snapped back to the present, the woolgathered sweat and tears dissolved into the drizzle outside, and I sighed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As we headed down the street and past the Village Hall, I noticed the Lacock Bakery and stepped inside to absorb puffs of oven air, buy a bun, and check the directions again. The map told us to look for a half-timbered house. There were many, and I instead focused on the sign for King John’s Hunting Lodge, ostensibly a tea room not worthy of mention on our map.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1GdoHtiXRGqVEzjMBY9YpGWmwODZYsH3fVV_GhDpQ9p4KMiDtLPocvSvPPrYZhtbGcHfwZh8pZLOM-OMBntYL6KRcWxEbYWbwsTRdgmUFnRRHNrEDqqGnnhPraZImtEBLdlB6Jljb-I2e/s1600/fullsizeoutput_cd1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1211" data-original-width="1600" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1GdoHtiXRGqVEzjMBY9YpGWmwODZYsH3fVV_GhDpQ9p4KMiDtLPocvSvPPrYZhtbGcHfwZh8pZLOM-OMBntYL6KRcWxEbYWbwsTRdgmUFnRRHNrEDqqGnnhPraZImtEBLdlB6Jljb-I2e/s320/fullsizeoutput_cd1.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But checking the iPhone to orient, I learned that this building dates to 1210 and was, indeed, a place where King John ate venison, drank mead, and warmed his toes on weekends away from the barons and their annoying Magna Carta.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> “Half-timbered is not much of an identifier in this town,” I said standing in the warmth by the bakery doorway. “This could take some time to figure out and maybe we should go into King John’s for another tea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“It’s ok, forget that - the other marker on the map is easy,” Michele said pointing toward a grey rectangular tower. “See, it’s that church.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The map takes walkers past St. Cyriac's and down a hill to a bridge and over a brook. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But I stopped, opened the churchyard gate, and, once again, suggested we step inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Though busy preparing for a wedding, she took time to tell us about the church and its origins in early Norman times. Later, Wikipedia elaborated describing St Cyriac's connections to famous characters like Edward of Salisbury, an Anglo-Saxon who managed to gain favour with William the Conqueror in the post of High Sheriff for Wilshire. Another of the church’s early Saxon sponsors did not fare so well in the new regime. He ended his days blind and mutilated for not getting with the Norman program.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPw2-AG98QqqGkIOl9EWkL3D1rFIv5eJOpHxRGBQqo1C5noZJHEhmZ1revv5F-ESjP_ACRfKgAY7qFV7MoAK1C-Vu6dSYs04OFU-jpL-bcLFEVVrl7mKYvgRsj4k6_56FbX94nUhNV-Qru/s1600/6QhbIDkTSlaOV3gV1ZMyqA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPw2-AG98QqqGkIOl9EWkL3D1rFIv5eJOpHxRGBQqo1C5noZJHEhmZ1revv5F-ESjP_ACRfKgAY7qFV7MoAK1C-Vu6dSYs04OFU-jpL-bcLFEVVrl7mKYvgRsj4k6_56FbX94nUhNV-Qru/s320/6QhbIDkTSlaOV3gV1ZMyqA.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">These stories have helped fuse the church to my memories, but on the day of our visit, another part of its history enthralled me more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Upon our entry, the wedding-prepping woman directed us to a display with newspaper clippings and photos of a plain looking drinking vessel now renowned as “The Lacock Cup.” The cup, tagged by experts as one of the best examples of medieval silverware anywhere in the world, was donated to the church about four hundred years ago and thus survived as a sacred vessel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The clippings described the Cup’s importance, but they intrigued and amused us most with recent history and controversies. Just a few years ago, the Church sold the cup for over a million pounds to the British Museum in order to pay for building maintenance; evidently this included the construction work that had blocked our entrance to the church that day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I found the story a little funny and touching because a group of Lacock residents had campaigned against the sale and even went to the ecclesiastical court to fight their own church on the issue. The locals believed the cup to be a vital part of village heritage but lost their case because of the critical need for church repairs; I thought perhaps it was also a recognition of Lacock’s abundance of heritage and tourism touchstones.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The story diverted our minds and bodies from the on-again-off-again rain and wind for a while, but it eventually became obvious that we could not impose on the building and its wedding prepping occupant any longer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“That cup story made me think of tea,” I said also thinking a toilet might be handy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Sure, as soon as we finish the walk,” Michele said. “Let’s get going.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I looked at the map. Short of breaking into a cottage or hiding under a bridge, I saw no avenue for warmth, shelter, or bladder relief until the termination point. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Though I was beginning to reconsider my age and pride, I pulled the hood over my head and pushed any hope of near-term comfort out of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We put boots to the ground and headed out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkpOFxDFPvcDfQ5rTyEU4UzicnoxJladVZehVZo3rz5Y8EQzVGtMQ3uSzfBWkLgNY3mIhVo6uhtKfvDTmkScenwfW0kcoahSy59EB372uGybx4pPqhpza3DUHvgOS0fXUH5Rlgsz4W-a84/s1600/MCNHmLI4Q8ec6pe136D0sA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkpOFxDFPvcDfQ5rTyEU4UzicnoxJladVZehVZo3rz5Y8EQzVGtMQ3uSzfBWkLgNY3mIhVo6uhtKfvDTmkScenwfW0kcoahSy59EB372uGybx4pPqhpza3DUHvgOS0fXUH5Rlgsz4W-a84/s320/MCNHmLI4Q8ec6pe136D0sA.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Within minutes, the rain picked up, my nose poured down, and my body pained. But the Lacock Walk is easy to follow. Pavement covers one portion cutting across a sheep field, and other way markers are obvious things like bridges, buildings, and the river. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The simplicity of the walk made it easy to daydream, and I found my mind going back to the Tythe Barn, King John’s Lodge, and St. Cyriac’s: sites that are not often stressed in promotional materials on Lacock, which usually feature the ancient Abbey and its gardens, a history that includes the innovations of photography pioneer Henry Fox Talbot, and the cluster of National Trust buildings that provide locations for film and television productions from <i>Harry Potter </i>and <i>Fantastic Beasts </i>to <i>Pride and Prejudice </i>and <i>Downton Abbey</i>(the latter took over the place again just a week after our visit).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ-QKxEmawNabChOgoXzZRsjBhMcYfj_D-pYhZYLl40K33DY8C8TTTqAnuvfVk0KTzSVX0Ja0UVkU4SgO3hutaubuNmOBOgJvK5rEnNrKXwfox1BTvet0cnfqgCdnvOCDo1iyRUVNm-Km2/s1600/Q2alZvTwRJyAInbUkiw5sA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ-QKxEmawNabChOgoXzZRsjBhMcYfj_D-pYhZYLl40K33DY8C8TTTqAnuvfVk0KTzSVX0Ja0UVkU4SgO3hutaubuNmOBOgJvK5rEnNrKXwfox1BTvet0cnfqgCdnvOCDo1iyRUVNm-Km2/s320/Q2alZvTwRJyAInbUkiw5sA.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The swirl of what we had seen and what we would see that day made me forget the rain, the discomforts, and the age of my legs. When we neared the end of the Lacock Walk, I found myself wandering off, pausing, and taking photos amidst mud, wind, and glowering cattle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">By the time we crossed the last bridge and reached the Abbey entrance, I was wishing the walk had a few more miles. As Michele got entrance tickets and inquired about bathrooms, I checked the iPhone again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The weather forecast called for more rain, but I searched for other information as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Hey, it looks like there are similar walks around Castle Coomb and Malmesbury,” I said. “Even longer.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Let’s talk about if over tea,” Michele said pulling back her hood, rubbing her lower back, and trying to hide a sneeze. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;"><i>October 2018</i></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-76771291928522799252018-04-09T05:57:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:57:15.915-07:00The Note Who Wouldn't Float<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have
an ingrained fear of the month of June.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It
flows down over my head and along my spine.
It started years ago when I signed on as assistant deputy communications
chief in the Department of Oceans, Big Tuna and Bitumen Development.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Every year, on those dark dates, just before the Minister and other Members of Parliament
sail off for the summer, the department is awash with demands for “something to
announce.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“He’s going to be out roaming for months, and he needs something to announce
every place he calls on,” the Minister’s Chief of Staff would foam. “And make
it good!”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">These
requests always caused panic down in the communications room. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We felt helpless in
the face of tempestuous policies and appointments - the flotsam of
Ministerial announcements - and we were never sure what to do. Fortunately, our branch director, Jacques Le
Capitaine, was an old hand and helped us navigate around the foggy reefs of
political priorities. </span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He kept his own antidote
for stress in a bottle below desk. When travelling with the Minister over the summer
announcement season, Jacques would drink even more, but he always made sure to
buy one for “the Old Man” before indulging himself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“It’s a good thing to be on friendly terms with the Old Man,” Jacques once
slurred. “Remember, when it comes to politics, we’re just taggin’ along for a
ride over the rough, grey waters that are his domain.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jacques
had the heart of a political hack. During the ’84 election campaign, he worked at
the party headquarters and still liked to imagine himself as having command
over a crew on a valiant mission. He talked wistfully of his days on a course well
charted and true as the dreaded summer season approached.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“I have a plan on how to handle the month of June this year,” Jacques whispered
over the wall of my cubicle one day in early spring. “Meet me at the Happy
Adventure for a drink at lunch, and I’ll tell you about it.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
All morning my mind raced.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Jacques
must have a bunch of ideas for announcements,” I imagined, “We can start working
on them now and have things ship shape by summer.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Jacques smiled broadly when I joined him at the bar. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“My plan is to take my vacation starting June 1st - I qualify for eight weeks
this year, so I’m going on a cruise - I’ll see you after the August long
weekend,” he said. “You’ll be in charge while I’m gone.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“That’s your freakin’ plan,” I said.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
He nodded and ordered another round. Later as I staggered westward back to the office
with the sun sinking below the horizon, my heart slipped below the churning
waves in my stomach. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
The next day, I scanned the department’s sea of newspaper clippings for summer
announcement ideas. One theme streamed through all stories; the fisher
people on the far coast were losing affection for the Government of Castoria. For
decades, the government had encouraged them to expand the fishing fleet. Then,
when the fish disappeared, the government provided assistance to reduce the
size of the fishing fleet. Now, the
fishers and would-be fishers had no boats and fishing licenses left to sell
back and no other means to make a living.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
The answer leaped out of the clippings and sailed past my eyes. I called a branch meeting and got all hands working
on a briefing note for the Minister’s staff. Harrowing and discouraging at times, the
project caused some to abandon ship, but I pushed on. We typed, and we typed, and we reviewed, and
we reviewed, and we printed and shredded. But mostly, we talked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Then, less than a week after Jacques shipped off for his vacation, I was
summoned to a departmental management meeting and implored to “come up with
some announceables.” I was as prepared as I was ever going to be.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“Well, sir, as you know, dark clouds loom off the far coast,” I said gripping my
little briefing note. “We believe that it would be well received if the
minister could announce the reinstatement of the fishing vessel building
assistance program to help people acquire boats and equipment once again.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“But
why would people want that - there are no fish left to catch,” said the
Department’s annoying Senior Scientist-Librarian with bone-chilling tones.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“Well, if they do acquire boats and outfit them in a menacing way,"
I said standing firmly and keeping my balance. "They could in turn
qualify for assistance to retire the boats under the current, fully funded, but
not fully exploited fishing vessel purchase program.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
An eerie quietness drifted over the room, and the mood grew dark.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
“This will never float,” stormed the Minister’s Chief of Staff. “There are so many holes in this thing - I
can’t send the boss out with this piece of junk - it’s too dangerous.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
I expected a rough ride for our note, but this blast was worse
than feared. Then, he explained.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Love the
idea – it’s great, but we need exhaustive communications strategies, a specially designed masthead, and a bigger
note,” the Chief of Staff added as other heads around the table bobbed up
and down. “Something about 150 to 200 pages in length rigged up with long
media lines and charts - that's what
we need.”</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
Though my plan was not really rejected, it had been delayed until more
word-filled paper could be assembled. That was three years ago, the proposal remains
tied up. Jacques came back to take early retirement, the department brought in
a new director from the accounting office, and we have a new minister.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am assigned to the “Boat Build and Buyback Program” communications plan team and
am charged with keeping the proposal afloat until the conditions are just right. I am not completely insulated
from the squalls and strains of the month of June. But I have hired a cubicle boy to help out, got a chair with arm rests, and now have a bottle hidden under my desk.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-34328958237571258562018-04-09T05:56:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:56:51.422-07:00Bandy Bureaucrat goes to War<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0YxTVTulB_Nd5s6jW5QY1fv0lZqG69Ym4YU_UmF6HHNkZ2ydQK4XF8Yate5VMZqGI7-k2rPv_UIWK329idzUBvh6PZz5PHwoJgQM_DrUpPfTEFMmR96b0Lhu_9JLfPd5-EV8lTCG0d0t/s1600/Bandy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gsa="true" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0YxTVTulB_Nd5s6jW5QY1fv0lZqG69Ym4YU_UmF6HHNkZ2ydQK4XF8Yate5VMZqGI7-k2rPv_UIWK329idzUBvh6PZz5PHwoJgQM_DrUpPfTEFMmR96b0Lhu_9JLfPd5-EV8lTCG0d0t/s200/Bandy.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><i>
</i></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>“The worst bloody day in a century, they say,” the Colonel harrumphed as
we marched toward the barracks. “Better bundle up chaps, we don’t want you
freezing up on first day of instruction.” </i></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thus read the opening lines of my grandfather's diary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My role model and inspiration, Grandpa, not only served for over forty years in government administration, but also fought in the foggy air high above the blood and mud during the War that promised to end all Wars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The following is a diary excerpt that links the two experiences.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">22 November 1917</span><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>"The rainy, windy morning that I presented myself at the Royal Flying Corps No.
3 School for Aeronautics and Gentlemanly Conduct was one of the coldest on
record in Oxfordshire. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>As a cold-weather Castorian, I was not distressed and
naturally took the “bundle-up” command to mean that I could wear my hockey
toque and mitts - although I also resolved to stay in my shorts and T-Shirt.
Later, the colonel gave me a dressing down so to speak and forced me to explain
my attire in front of the entire company.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i></i></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">
“Do you Castorucks call this dressing sharply and respecting a uniform ?” the
colonel asked looking at me with disdain. “Listen, Swallow, I will tolerate quite
a deal from officer-level fighting men, but not slackness in the wearing of His
Majesty’s uniforms.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>
</i></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Yes, I understand, sir,” I said softly. “But I fear the scourge of chafing.” </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>
</i></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
This reply induced considerable merriment among the other trainees, many of
whom leaned on the desks for support while giggling and laughing until the
colonel set his riding crop down on the table, put his hand on my shoulder, and
sympathetically asked a follow-up question.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Been in trenches on the frontlines, son ?” he asked.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Yes, sir,” I said. “For many, many months without relief.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
The room grew quiet, and we began the day’s instruction on navigation theory,
map reading, and tea drinking in flight. My Castorian clothing style was never
mentioned again.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
It was not until years later that I learned that the colonel and my new
comrades had assumed that my irrational rash fears had been brought about by
months in the trenches at Flanders and the Somme. The truth, however, was that
it was tied to my years as a frontline administrator in the Dominion Government, sitting long hours in cramped, poorly ventilated spaces with heat
pouring up between my legs and an air stream blowing over my head. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
As a former bureaucrat, now Sopwith Camel pilot, I was, therefore, in
my element, and I excelled. Not only did the hot-cold, cramped cockpit resemble
my office workspace back in the National Capital, but I was also completely at ease with the
overall operating environment. Other pilots who came from the British upper
classes and positions of respect and influence endured great frustration and
were often distracted from their training and their duties.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“I can’t stand this,” one of my colleagues sobbed. “The insanity of the war and
the futility of it all; we know nothing about what is going on, it is so
confusing, I can’t understand what our company as a whole is trying to achieve,
what the Allies are accomplishing, how the battle is going, all we ever know is
that one of the majors overheard a general talking to some politician who said
that things are going ‘splendidly’ and an end will come ‘in due course’ - how
can we live like this ?”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
Listening to him, I recalled my government work on a special project to provide
input on a background paper for a submission to support high-level discussion
of plans for consultations on a national economic policy white paper proposal
in the context of a restructuring around new activity structures, wondered what
the problem was, and told my colleague to “buck up.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
Over the following year, I scored many, many kills. Too many to recall. My bureaucrat ability to focus on undefined objectives, to kick into work when needed after
days of nothing, to endure endless, mind-numbing repetition, to respond to
ambiguous requests, and to make ever-refining adjustments served me well, and I
ended my stint in the Great Conflict as a hero and a celebrated “Flying Ace - Colonial
Commoner Class.” </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
As the King pinned a medal on my chest today, he said “Jolly good show, old man, they
tell me your precision and skill came from experience in editing, reformatting, and rewriting
thousands of memos and government briefing notes.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Yes, your Majesty, in a way, but more specifically by focusing my thoughts on
those who request such edits, format changes, and rewriting.”</span></div>
</i></span><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-25350123431702250722018-04-09T05:55:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:55:33.832-07:00Ban on the Word "Strategy"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoc7q79aj1wDCvDfK1ckRalxZ5f3_PjcVVYpx10lf3pstJ-CIAVnFfF-xwFRO9r3OEceZA23XByAt1v9zsgatUBtlAE7ej3wbgNcHPHv-adtC7OhE_QKm_vQ3wlZCr0JTrbf4mwOLrf2e7/s1600/Strategic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoc7q79aj1wDCvDfK1ckRalxZ5f3_PjcVVYpx10lf3pstJ-CIAVnFfF-xwFRO9r3OEceZA23XByAt1v9zsgatUBtlAE7ej3wbgNcHPHv-adtC7OhE_QKm_vQ3wlZCr0JTrbf4mwOLrf2e7/s320/Strategic.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">One of the most unsettling times of my government
policy writing career came during the Fourth Gulf War.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">The Castorian Parliament passed the “Somewhat Patriotic Act” to
ensure our nation’s security in a time of war. The legislation
lifted restrictions on the gathering of intelligence, gave law enforcement
agencies greater discretion, and expanded the definition of classified information.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">This latter directive on information led to regulations that gave the military full and exclusive control over the words
“strategy,” “strategic,” and even extremist variations such as “strategically” and
“strategize” during the promotion and outreach phase of the conflict.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Officials in non-military government organizations could no longer use these words in any official communications. We could talk
about our (deleted) issues and use the terms in informal conversation as long as we did
not type out the restricted words, scribble them on a permanent surface, or
mention them in voice mail messages. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">These regs were drafted because our enemies had cracked Castoria’s
access to information system and the process of submitting the requisite $5 fee to get at our (deleted) documents. These now-banned words formed the cornerstone of the branch's policy focus and even part of our name. The meant that those of us in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(deleted) and
Operational Planning Branch </i>were ruthlessly constrained. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">We could not write about our group’s work nor make references to our own
existence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“Why not change our name of the group and adopt alternate language for the (deleted) stuff ?” I
suggested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“You really haven’t thought that one out – have you, Swallow,” my
Director said. “In order to get a branch name change approved, we would have to
submit a proposal citing the old, not-to-be-officially-mentioned name - and we couldn’t tell people what the new words mean without a glossary of
prohibited terms.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Chastened, I returned to my keyboard and what
now seemed like the impossible task of reporting on the corporate level
achievements of the past year and the plans for the coming year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">"How can I do this without access to the vital tools and
essential terminology of my policy and planning trade," I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">"You'll just have to come up with some compensating
... compensating ... uh .... approaches ... or ... ah ... tactics," my colleague Arthur said. "I think 'tactics' is still allowed."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">As a consequence of all this, we found ourselves increasing relying on stories and plans form the “Operational”
side of our organization and the branch's planning mandate. Instead of presenting programs,
services, and operations as pathetic foils to the lofty and noble (deleted) stuff (which could no longer be mentioned officially), I and my
colleagues now focused on operations,program delivery, and the actual doing of things as the centerpiece of
our reports and plans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">This had a dramatic impact. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Employees working in the operational groups of the organization were
buoyed and motivated by all the attention they were getting in corporate reports and plans. This reinvigorated their commitment to serving clients and the greater Castorian public. They
developed more ambitious plans, worked harder, and took great pride in reporting on their
results. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">The term “Operational” assumed new meaning not only within our
organization but throughout the whole of the Castorian public service. My branch felt proud of our association with the performance of real work and activities that meant something. We breathed new air after so many years absorbed with (deleted) policy and those other (deleted) things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">The value and impact of our approach became absolute and clear this spring when the government introduced legislation to transfer exclusive control
over the words “Operations” and “Operational” to the Department of the
Treasury. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">This is great. But it meant that I had to rush to my desk and write this before the bill gets passed.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-49542659707874830452018-04-09T05:53:00.002-07:002018-04-09T05:53:54.318-07:00Top 5 Ways to boost Creativity in the Public Service<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">This week my team took training at the Castoria School for Government Workers on how to implement the new public service value of "creativity." None of us knew what this term meant, and we had no idea how to apply it to our work. The training left us still a little confused. But as</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> we left the session, our instructor, a retired visual artist and Assistant Deputy Minister in the program evaluation management agency, gave us a handy reference tool in the form of a Top five list to post on our cubicle walls. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><b>Top Five Ways to Boost your Creativity </b></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ignore Top 5 Lists</b><br />
<br />
If someone really has significant insights to share on the subject of creativity, he will not, I repeat, will not be communicating them to you via tiresome formulaic techniques like the "Top 5" list method.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truly creative will also avoid worn-out emphasizers like “I repeat” and confusing satirical devices to make their points.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do not read anything these toxic transmitters of the trite have to offer even if they seduce you with the use of compelling metaphors and alliterations. </span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Rein in Your Imagination</b> <br />
<br />
The root of the word and the concept – creativity – is “create,” meaning to bring something into existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You cannot do that unless you have some toehold in the real – existing – world. Too much time daydreaming, thinking and living in the realm of the imaginary will keep your ideas in the domain of things uncreated forever.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do NOT Write a Book about your career </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br />
</b></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When you write a book of any kind, you have, fundamentally, three uncreative options.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, you can recycle the successful or semi-successful ideas and approaches of others to massage our lowest-common-denominator natures and make millions of dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the other edge of the scale, you can engage in thoughtful and thorough research,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>strive for the greatest levels of artistic mastery, and submit yourself to the soul-crushing and creativity-killing process of editing, rewriting, and revising the equivalent of a thousand and one writing-class exercises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or finally, you can float along on the vast sea of pablum that churns between the two extremities. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be Cowardly</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Creating something – anything – new requires some level of commitment and persistence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You cannot expect to muster any kind of resolute determination and to follow through on your quest if you pick fights with people and make enemies who will chip away at your ideas and emotional vigor with criticism and often legitimate disparagement. Best to limit your creative works to things that do not offend and have been approved beforehand by senior management.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">5)<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do What Others Tell You to do</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b></b><br />
You clearly have a problem taking direction from authoritative, said-to-be-expert strangers – otherwise you would have stopped reading this list the first point, as instructed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It was a test. </span>You should work on this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am telling you this for your own good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Believe me. </span>If you want to be truly creative, you must never, ever stop and reflect upon your own experiences, understandings, and knowledge to synthesize new ways of looking at the world and to see coherence in different disciplines and spheres of human endeavour because you never know where that will lead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whereas, if someone tells you to do something and you do it, there you go – you have created something that someone else wanted or, at least, you have created a sense of authority in that other person - and the world is, at least for that someone, likely your direct supervisor or a higher level official,a better place.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-40771101684126577502018-04-09T05:53:00.001-07:002018-04-09T05:53:38.659-07:00Diversity and My Secret Transgender Life <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlMOzGJugUEzedNafx2TIOsXtNAMfrmKV4RxxYsqX0omY-eWYR1e1HJnCoJBhwVJm2zL4Cj4HnZ28XWEMXtTuZyhiXrolL1efEGJATKA7ezv6uYiO5nwHATvkgN4NQcpOPp9tLzl-zUjjf/s1600/Girl+Sneeze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" jea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlMOzGJugUEzedNafx2TIOsXtNAMfrmKV4RxxYsqX0omY-eWYR1e1HJnCoJBhwVJm2zL4Cj4HnZ28XWEMXtTuZyhiXrolL1efEGJATKA7ezv6uYiO5nwHATvkgN4NQcpOPp9tLzl-zUjjf/s200/Girl+Sneeze.jpg" width="188" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: blue;">The Transgender Act</span></strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Inspired by our
department’s new, long overdue policy on diversity and LGBT rights, I have been
overtaken by a sudden urge to announce something that I have never been able to
bring myself to air in public before.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While I can count on
the support of my extended family, I am still a little nervous as I am not
really sure how other people will react to my confession. I suspect many will
be startled, and some will laugh at me.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
For many, many years, I have, in fact, tried to hide this aspect of my personal
life and gone to great lengths to stifle my basic urges at work and in public.
It is hard to explain, awkward and odd. It takes me across the boundaries that
define what is feminine and what is masculine, and I don’t know how to stop.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
When alone ... away from others ... and not feeling self-conscious or uptight
... I sneeze like a little girl.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not a cute little
girl “achoo” kind of sneeze. But a high-pitched squeak. The sound you might
make stepping on an Ewok or squeezing a really small rubber duckie.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
I am what is often called a transgender nasal noisemaker, and I am admit it -
although I and others like me prefer the term “cross-sneezer.”</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
Yes. I considered the extreme step of rhinoplasty. But realized in reflecting
upon the option of surgery that I did not want to change myself - just to
sneeze as myself.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My always supportive
and understanding mother says for her that effeminate sound is offset by
my very macho habit of biting my tongue when I sneeze.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />Still, until now, I had hoped to live my life keeping the feature of my life private. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I even avoided coming out this flu season when I was stuffed up and runny for over ten
weeks straight. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But now emboldened by the framework of the department's new Policy on Diversity, LGBT
rights, and Plumbing, I am going to confess my girl sneezing to my colleagues
at the next branch staff meeting. Maybe,
I will announce it to my thousands of potential Twitter followers the day after.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
I have never before little-girl sneezed in public nor have I any immediate plans to
girl-sneeze at my place of work. But just the thought of confessing has opened
the door to such possibilities.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am embracing them and the freedom to be
myself. I feel ready to sneeze the day.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-55439404199513612312018-04-09T05:53:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:53:25.550-07:00Head Smashed in Briefing Note Jump<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“We’re shipping you to
the farm.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">“Please, please don’t,”
I said. “I’ll do anything; I can be better, please just give me a chance.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">My prayers sank under the
reproaching sounds of “forget it,” “don’t fight this,” and “too late.” He slapped down the transfer papers and barked
that authorities were already coming for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">There was no place
hide, no place to go, and no way to avoid assignment to the cubicle farm in the
basement of C-27A.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">An old warehouse at the
edge of the complex, C-27A sat empty for almost decade after the simultaneous
discovery of asbestos and gophers in its walls. When union officials went public with these details, media commentators and animal
rights groups joined in the fray thinking that the building was a venue for cruel experimentation.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Last year, the
department opened it with a pledge to seal off the toxic
fibers, relocate the animals, and install a warren of gopher-free cubicles. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">The unions hailed the decision, and animal
rights groups moved on to the plight of pigeons on the hot, sticky roof of C-29B.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">“In effort to minimize
cost, the Government will limit investments in lighting, air conditioning, and
washroom facilities,” said the memo to all staff. “We will transfer employee
groups to the 2.0 cubicle farm through a process tied to efficiency, collaborative
workspace priorities, and reverse order of hierarchical importance.” <br />
<br />
I knew some of the first transferees and heard reports of widespread
depression, sick leaves, and a spike in wrist-related papercuts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">“Personalize your
cubicle if you want just as long as you stick to the grey, white, and beiges,”
said the agent from building management. “No music and no yelling or screaming
unless it’s for your work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">I learned that we could
sign out the branch helmet if we had special requirements to temporarily drown
out the noise, to focus, and to write something coherent. Today is my day to have it. I picked it up
this morning, headed to my cubicle, and wrote this note.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-63712963132983379642018-04-09T05:45:00.001-07:002018-04-09T05:45:35.492-07:00The Case for Policy-based Evidence<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIkFQYsvtr5EokXIxwGOhzsZFILsKZ0uX4PtFZujrriMkN1LknvzbPebKc1FwQWExIrYJFEeKih21bHj__d_8pHZKvOknNVXt3aksgSeSHFe-Dq_ppmP5MwRTCNB8f_2r16zgZGEvqAr7F/s1600/Cheery.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="668" data-original-width="888" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIkFQYsvtr5EokXIxwGOhzsZFILsKZ0uX4PtFZujrriMkN1LknvzbPebKc1FwQWExIrYJFEeKih21bHj__d_8pHZKvOknNVXt3aksgSeSHFe-Dq_ppmP5MwRTCNB8f_2r16zgZGEvqAr7F/s200/Cheery.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“There
is no such thing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“But
sir, it’s one of the Minister’s number one priorities.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“It’s
a priority to say it’s a priority, kid, doesn’t make it so.”<br />
<br />
My assigned mentor, Dr. Stazkan, did not believe in the possibility of
evidence-based policy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“There’s
only three kinds of policy, kid,” he explained. “Policy that happily aligns
with the science at the time of an announcement, policy that cherry picks the
science, and policy that mocks the science with anecdotal drivel.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
wanted to be respectful and could not challenge our department’s esteemed
Counter Emeritus directly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
thought he might be suffering from an extreme case of statistical cynicism, a common form of workplace-induced impairment in our field.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
cited what I considered to be exemplary government policies duly supported by
scientific fact and analysis. Every time, Stazkan picked them apart showing how
political and bureaucratic bias came first and the consequential collation of
suitable scientific fact came later. He told me that it didn't matter what the political party or reigning agenda for the environment, food, and energy; all governments did the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Just
think about it, kid,” he said. “Think what it takes to make scientific fact
interesting to today’s muddled media, then how long it takes for that to seep
into the Tweet-filled minds of the average voter, then it has to coalesce and float
up into the foggy clouds around the politicians, and then finally, you have to
have all this coincide magically with the simultaneous breaching of the dogmatism
of the public policy bureaucracy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He
wiped the spit from the corner of his mouth and took a breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Now,
how long have you been in this department ?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Ah,
about a month, sir.”<br />
<br />
“So, think about that process and then think about what would happen if the
Minister asked us for whatever we’ve got to support his last brain fart
idea – how long would it take to put something together?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Well,
uhm, I’m not sure if that’s something that could be measured, sir?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Frickin’
right, nanoseconds,” he laughed. “Anyway, you don’t have to take my word on
this, look at this thing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He
pulled a dust-covered binder off the shelf and opened it near the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“It’s
a report on departmental policy development over the past forty years - mappin’
out timelines and showing at what point scientific evidence was fed into the
process,” he said. “You wanna guess what percentage of the policies saw science
first, political decisions second?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I
see one of these columns ends in a zero,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“So,
what do you think that tells us?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I
dunno,” I shrugged. “What does the Minister say it tells us?”</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-10615410717093201052018-04-09T05:45:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:45:17.981-07:00Malpractice Insurance for Government Scientists<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">I never before lusted for a career as an insurance salesman. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Compared to public administration, it seemed like a pretty
stressful profession. You have to get up and hit the road running early every
day just to engage others who don’t want
your wares. You are never sure what your next pay day will be like. You interface between clients with need and companies with greed, and you have to outrun aggressive, multi-pronged competition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">You even struggle to enjoy social time as the “Insurance Salesman”
and the always-to-be-avoided pariah by the punch bowl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
But I started to change my opinion a few years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I see a real opportunity opening up in the insurance industry to not only make
a lot of money, but to serve the greater good with a new service that will help
people around the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I’m going to sell malpractice insurance to government scientists.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
My views started to change about while ago when an Italian court
sentenced a group of scientists<b> </b>to six years in prison
and charged them over $10 million (Castorian dollars) in damages after
convicting them of manslaughter for not predicting the earthquake that hit the a
small mountain town. The court and many
politicians considered this akin to criminal negligence. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Prestigious journals and experts around the world pointed out that the Italian
court “fundamentally misunderstands how geophysics and seismology work” and parts of the ruling were eventually overturned, but the precedent led </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">other politicians in other places to demonize science and feed mistrust, paranoia, and fear in the scientific
community. All key ingredients to market growth and insurance product design.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
My Scientist Malpractice Insurance Plan will not protect researchers from
imprisonment, but it will cover them financially in the event they are sued for
not figuring things out as fast as senior bureaucrats or politicians would like
or for not inventing things that the government did not know it needed until it was too late.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I have discussed this concept with friends, and even those with absolutely no
scientific training, understanding, or interests are quick to recognize the
limitless business potential and need for a new kind of insurance coverage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
They also note that there are many, many ways that we suffer and experience hardship
because negligent and lax government scientists have not discovered something
or otherwise done their jobs in a competent manner. The need for someone to
invent beer cans that open themselves and toilet paper rolls that never run out
were just two of the expense-inducing examples that came quickly to mind in the
informal focus group meeting on my new insurance business idea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
Many people and governments are sure to benefit from this new scheme. It will allow us to criminally charge and sue
scientists, collect fines, and still put them back to work quickly. I believe
that my Scientist Malpractice Insurance plan will also be of some benefit to
the scientists themselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
Purchasing my insurance products will allow government scientists to do
something that gives them a sense of comfort and the illusion that they can
protect themselves from a phenomenon which is capricious, frightening, and
ultimately unpredictable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">
Kind of like the forces behind the Italian court decision.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-18334808789155701182018-04-09T05:44:00.001-07:002018-04-09T05:44:30.491-07:00A Hard Lesson in Budget Management<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiix8J8-FB1OJsZEPp5Chbosbeu2RWIyPh6MEjj6eFmh8uS8ONEpbUFwzTP93VikChT01BDhBsGNBW9al9DRf89s-e4FCym3WLqGLJP9nXcNdino4Q9kX_57hZXqmzKd4s4E0T_HGpWkca/s1600/Governing+Travails.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiix8J8-FB1OJsZEPp5Chbosbeu2RWIyPh6MEjj6eFmh8uS8ONEpbUFwzTP93VikChT01BDhBsGNBW9al9DRf89s-e4FCym3WLqGLJP9nXcNdino4Q9kX_57hZXqmzKd4s4E0T_HGpWkca/s320/Governing+Travails.jpg" width="179" /></a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div align="right" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">March 2013 </span></i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
Security stood by the entrance awaiting my arrival at work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Without explanation, stone-faced men escorted me up to the DG’s
office where my boss sat staring at Excel sheets and gnawing on a pencil.
He looked up and muttered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“More disappointed than angry,” he said, quivering his voice and
the pencil.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s the matter?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“I think you know,” he said. “We could wait for the final audit
and maybe an investigation, but why don’t you just save us a lot of grief – and
just confess now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Certain of my innocence, but wary, I tried to craft an
appropriate response.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“I honestly don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“OK, I’ll play your game,” the DG said, shifting from sadness to
sarcasm. “Let’s pretend you don’t know our department’s Financial Management
policies and the requirement to close the year within 1 per cent of budget.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah, I know that,” I said. “So, what’s the problem?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s the problem ?? What’s the problem ??” he said.
“You’re over 10 per cent off your target and there are only two days left in
the year – I’d say that was a bit of a problem.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">It took another five minutes of testy and sometimes teary
exchanges to sort things out. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">I had never thought much about the policy
because any expenditure approved by managers at my level had to be double and
triple approved by the Department’s Bookkeeping, Underwriting, and Treasury
(BUT) Branch. The BUT Branch officials had to attest to the availability
of funds, and this created the impossibility of material overruns anyway. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">In short, I thought it was their problem not mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">But, on this sad morning, I was informed that the Department’s
“within-1-per-cent policy” was meant as a requirement not only to limit budget
overruns, but also to ensure that every penny of taxpayers’ money assigned to
us got spent. That 1 per cent thing, as I learned, worked both ways: don't overspend by more, and don't save any more than that either.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Evidently, we had to do this to make sure the government
could not scoop up excess funds for the general good at
year end. Worse still, the government through the financial-management
layers beneath it would punish the non-spending agencies with reduced budgets going forward, rationalizing cuts on the evidence of
limited profligate capacities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m sorry, Boss,” I said begging forgiveness. “But my staff have
been really working hard to cut costs this year, paying for stuff out of their
own pockets – and doing work on weekends for free when we cancelled a big
consulting contract that wasn’t working out.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“This is a poor excuse and won’t wash with the execs,” my boss
said, still frustrated, but showing signs of compassion. “You really should
have been able to spend more money this year with a little creativity.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">With this challenge, I proposed a path out of our predicament.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“All is not lost, or wasted, yet Boss, like you said, we still
have two days left,” I whispered with a smile. “And you know what we do in the last
two days of the fiscal year ?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“Management bonuses !!” he pounded the desk with glee. “Damn it, I'll
give you the maximum allowed - Yessss! that'll do it !”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">I nodded and commended him on his shrewdness and understanding of
government financial management process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“It won’t be enough to wipe out the entire surplus, but when I explain
the situation to the ADM, I’m sure he’ll top up my bonus too,” he said calling for
the security guards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">This time, they acted as a kind of honour guard escorting me down
to my cubicle and the important work that awaited.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-21444474823555480772018-04-09T05:43:00.002-07:002018-04-09T05:43:50.595-07:00Nailing the Interview <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“In
the end, I had to smash him on the head with a hammer, twice,” said the tall woman
sitting at the middle of a long table on a padded chair. “It split open like an egg, blood and brains all over the floor.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Well,
it was the right thing to do,” said the young man to her left.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Yeah,
it was,” an older woman nodded.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I got to the National Fiscal Evaluation Regulatory Agency offices a
little early and stuck my head into the boardroom to let the interview panel
know of my arrival. I had obviously interrupted some serious conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Come
on in,” said tall, now-scary-to-me, middle-table woman upon seeing my head peer through
the open door. “Sit down.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I
did. Quickly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“So,
we’ve all seen your resume and have the results of your office skills test,”
she said. “Obviously, you made the cut, and we just want to hear a bit about
your work habits and get a feel for what motivates you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">The young guy seemed disengaged, looked down, and started muttering.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“I
don’t think I could have done it,” he said in semi-whisper.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“You
never know what you will do until you have to,” tall, scary one said turning to him. “Anyway, drop
it; we’re supposed to be doing an interview.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I
tried to focus and mentally rehearsed government-job vocabulary.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Now,
tell us a bit about yourself,” said the chair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I
hate this non-question question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It</span>’s supposed to be a big chance to differentiate yourself from other
candidates. But there are so many stupid ways to differentiate yourself; so few
good ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hesitated, and that created
an opening for older lady to chime in on the not yet dead conversation about hammers and brains.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“If
I couldn’t do it myself, I would have gotten Eddie to do it,” she said. “He’s
good at that stuff, anything to do with blood or tools.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I
told them about my mandolin lessons, my interest in foreign language music, and
some of the things I put on the walls of my apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was to be my warm up to information more
directly aligned with the position of Assistant Audit Engagement Leader.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Well,
that’s great, Mr. Swallow,” said the scary panel chair. “But I guess what we’d
really like to know is where do you see yourself in five years?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“How
many years do you think he would have lived if you hadn’t killed him?” asked
the older woman. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“I
don’t know,” said the panel chair. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why
do you care?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was miserable – that was
obvious. Now, focus on what the bloody candidate has to say.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">I
cleared my throat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Um,
five years, well let’s see, I will be over fifty,” I said. “I guess the odds of
being in a doctor’s office or a pharmacy would be greater.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“We
were thinking more about where you saw yourself in our organization,” said
young guy. “You know maybe a supervisor or even the Engagement Leader position
itself.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Yeah,
that’s what I meant,” I backtracked. “I meant that I’ll probably be in some
really high pressure, miserable, stressful job and that will mean I will need
to go to the doctor and get some prescription drugs.”<br />
<br />
“I guess it would have been ridiculous to try to give him drugs to the ease the
pain,” said young guy, returning to the other subject, picking up on my last words, and ignoring the rest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Will
you just drop it,” said the panel chair. “Now focus, and let’s get this over
with, that bright one with the private sector experience is going to be here in
five minutes.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">Looking
back at my face, recognizing a confused, awkward kind of ignorance, and
noticing a black electronic device in the closed palm of my hand, she grimaced, sighed, and
elucidated.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“We’re
talking about a mouse,” she said. “It was caught in a trap, but didn’t die,
crawled with its front feet across the goddamn basement floor leaving a streak
of blood behind it and squealing in pain.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Yes,
that’s what I thought,” I lied. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Then,
why did you keep turning on that tape recorder when we were talkin’ about it ?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Ah,
ah, oh, I see my time is up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Oh
yeah, right, so that’s the interview, but we could schedule a follow-up to talk
about why you were fired from your last job - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or maybe we should just end it now as we
always do by asking<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>if you have any
questions you would like to ask us ?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "sans-serif";">“Yeah,
do you still have that hammer ?”</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-799584628285541002018-04-09T05:40:00.001-07:002018-04-09T05:40:32.865-07:00No Sex Please - We're Bureaucrats<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGt813JYKDBYmWH5cXV75doQ1hTcsyoegDVUdJBioXdFTM4z4Bg9hmK7XJ5I2xh8ygo_YshwsrI6rWFC5HFWu2Zl4v26aEzYFT3bowKOVdrDbkIvJpMlGwueTy-RHdeL5rAaLDLhbXQMH/s1600/50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGt813JYKDBYmWH5cXV75doQ1hTcsyoegDVUdJBioXdFTM4z4Bg9hmK7XJ5I2xh8ygo_YshwsrI6rWFC5HFWu2Zl4v26aEzYFT3bowKOVdrDbkIvJpMlGwueTy-RHdeL5rAaLDLhbXQMH/s320/50.jpg" width="320" yya="true" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">“You don’t have enough sex.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“I know, I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Why ? - you got some kinda psychological problem, Mr. Swallow ?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“No, it’s just that I am not sure how to do it, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe, I’m too old.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“That’s ridiculous, some of the randiest writers I work with are your age.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I appreciated that the man was trying to help, but I still felt awkward. He was
a professional book editor and literary agent hired on contract by the Branch
Director to coach me on writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
My group needed to write a vital internal memorandum on the assessments and
process improvement initiatives pursuant to the introduction of the
Department’s new framework for the management of accountability and performance
relative to internal procedures for measuring the impact of accountability
management systems. We had to get the messaging right and convey excitement of our management.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I was given the task. It would tough, but the boss told me that I would be supported by a top notch consultant as money was no object and
unlimited resources were available for any project tied to the financial
accountability agenda. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">Donald J. Ferguson was a senior editor with the
Castorian subsidiary of a prosperous international
publishing house. Having few market worthy titles to review in our country, his
firm made him available for consulting work and for vaguely worded government
contracts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Look, Mr. Swallow, I was hired for my expertise, and I suggest you take my
advice,” he said with a look that suggested he actually cared. “You can’t be a
solid writer unless you know how to inject sex into your scripts.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“OK, but I fear that anything I write will be taken as inspired by some
intimacy with my girl friend, and I would not want to embarrass her,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Well, just tell everybody it’s about sex with somebody else,” he said. “Maybe,
even put that in a footnote to your memo.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Gosh, no - that would be worse,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Well, then disguise it,” he replied now showing some frustration. “Make your
scenes between two men - or between two men and something else.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Gawd... that won’t work at all,” I said with a snivel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“You mean, people would still guess it was you?” he asked in the tone of
genuine curiosity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I looked at the floor and put my fingers on my temple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Ok, Ok, if you can’t bring yourself to describe the act, there are a few
tricks I can teach you - suggestive metaphors, racy adjectives, and the like,”
he said. “Write ‘em down and then you can use ‘em later in your tight-azz
bureaucrat memo without getting too explicit - and feeling all prickly - geeze,
you’re something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I pulled out my laptop, booted up, and prepared to type.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Now when you’re talking about something new like your accountability thing you
have to use dreamy, gentle words - say the program was “opening up like a
flower ” or “the outline of its soft form was barely visible ” he explained.
“But when you want to communicate about something that's based on a lot of experience and
been around the block, you say - flaming, aggressive, hot-blooded, and
enlarged.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
I started to understand where he was going and to think about the
possibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“And it’s always good to use food metaphors,” he added. “Like squeezed and
tossed - and say she - you can call your policy a she ? right ? - say she was
delectable, mouth- watering, luscious, scrumptious and, of course, you can
always use evocative but hazy terms like - the gnarly bits.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Golly, I’m not sure about that,” I mumbled to myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“And whenever you can - jump from all that stuff suddenly into getting up the
next morning - together,” he concluded. “You can do it - Just close your eyes,
type, and think of your Prime Minister.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />Ferguson then asked me to sign a form attesting to the fact of our training
session and his presence at it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">It was the last I ever heard of him, but his
advice about combining sex and my government memo writing vocation dominated my
thoughts over the following days and led me to an associated epiphany. I wrote out a new sex-job memo. One to my boss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
“Screw this - I’m applying for early retirement.”</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6705461040344927107.post-31045018793403029062018-04-09T05:40:00.000-07:002018-04-09T05:40:10.736-07:00Strategic Operating Review of My Personal Life<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This
month our department completed a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Strategic
Operating and Budget Review</i> and identified measures to increase
efficiency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of my colleagues are
now unemployed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
layoffs spared those who were under-classified, under-qualified, and inexpensive.
Though I am still working, the exercise did not leave me unscathed. I am now
very conscious of how precarious my potential career will be, how government
employees need to be prepared, and how I need to eliminate all inefficiencies and
low priority activities from my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, I
have developed a plan to apply the principles and processes of a government strategic operating and budget review to my personal affairs and to run my life the way our senior
management runs the department. <br />
<br />
1) I will call a meeting of my family and friends to inform them that I
will be reassessing my relationship with them on a two-to-three-year
cycle going forward and that they will be required to demonstrate rigorous
results against vague priorities not yet announced and subject to change on a
daily basis. <br />
<br />
2) I will break my home and personal possessions into separate little
“Operating Units” to function on cost recovery. Soon I will be able
to see whether renting my car out as a bandit taxi or running my bathrooms as
public pay toilets can generate enough revenue to justify their continued maintenance.
There are options for the bedroom as well. In any case, the exercise will ensure that rooms and possessions that don’t earn money in isolation
of other parts of the house and only produce general benefit are boarded up,
disposed, or privatized.<br />
<br />
3) I will create a portfolio of special committees inviting my family and
friends to develop reallocation scenarios and reinvestment proposals for
imaginary freed-up money to keep them occupied, distracted, and placated as I
implement other elements of my personal Strategic Operating and Budget<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Review.<br />
<br />
4) As resources diminish, I will look at Common Services – things like my
parents – and see whether they could not be collapsed into one unit.<br />
<br />
5) I will invite an ongoing stream of semi-knowledgeable strangers into my
home to assess my possessions and comment on whether I am managing my life
effectively or efficiently in their best interests and in the interests of some
unidentified taxpayer who has never met me, but definitely doesn’t like me.<br clear="all" />
<br />
6) I will rebrand my family and friends for show and to echo the Strategic Operating
Review themes, giving them all nicknames to better resonate with the
current trends: such as “Audit” and “Control” for boys - and for the
girls - “Efficiency.”<br />
<br />
7) I will waste a tremendous amount of time studying things and reviewing papers, but will do it laying on the couch so if anyone bugs me, I can say I'm doing a “Horizontal Review” of
opportunities for improvement.<br />
<br />
8) I will move all my furniture to the living room and point all chairs toward the back wall, explaining to guests that it is a function of “renewal” and efforts to encourage
alignment and focus.<br />
<br />
9) I will not pay my bills and will instead preserve resources for meeting my “legislated” or "statutory" obligations: things like fights in small claims court, mortgage renegotiation, and bankruptcy proceedings.<br />
<br />
10) I will go further into debt and borrow millions of dollars to create a
special fund for the implementation of this plan to dismantle my life.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Finally, if, as I implement this Strategic Operating and Budget Review of
myself, I do identify genuine and valid ways to save money and reduce
expenditures, I will sit on them, pretend they do not exist, and keep losing
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not make any such changes until
I can announce them in a news conference or speech to a Board of Trade sometime
after the next Federal Budget.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com